At my weekly checkup on Monday, I finally tipped the scales at 150 pounds. So far, I’ve gained 27 pounds since my first doctor’s appointment. Not too much, not too little. I think baby’s growth is slowing down though because I find myself less hungry (especially in the middle of the night).
The doctor said that baby’s head is just starting to descend (not much different from last week) and that it was unlikely that I’d go into labour this week. She also recommended that I make an extra appointment for the week after my due date just in case. So it seems that there is a chance baby will come late.
This morning, I was reflecting on the timing of baby’s birth and realized that I have arrived at a place where I’m ok with whenever it happens. My spiritual director calls it holy indifference, when I can be fine with whatever the outcome may be. I want to be hospitable towards this child and allow baby to come whenever baby is ready. Even a few days ago, I was still holding on to a certain window of time that I was hoping to give birth. But today I am at peace just knowing that it will happen and not knowing when. A friend of ours came for lunch today and she prayed that I would experience “the joy of letting go.” I think this is it.
There are signs that the day is approaching though. I feel increasing pressure in my pelvis and I’m noticing more frequent “practice contractions” (where the uterus tightens up for a bit and then releases; also known as Braxton-Hicks contractions). I’m not sure if baby has “dropped” yet (meaning the head has fully lowered into the pelvis); it may still be a while. But there are unmistakable indications of progress happening, which is reassuring.
With a week until the due date, the anticipation within and around us mounts. Many of our friends and family are expressing their excitement and counting down the days with us. We feel surrounded by love and support. It’s humbling and amazing. And it seems like the best we can do is thank God for all of this. And wait.
For your entertainment (while we wait), click here for a video I took a couple days ago of baby “Hiccups” hiccuping. =) (Sorry, I can’t get the video to embed properly and I’m too tired to try to figure it out right now.)