Archives For olive chan

For a long time I hadn’t really understood what the big deal was about potty training. It was simple! At least it was for my first child. But when we were a month into training my second-born and still having regular accidents, I could see how potty training earned it’s reputation as “dreaded.”

As I reflected on this particular experience of potty training, I learned several things about myself. They weren’t new discoveries – more like patterns I’d already known about myself that surfaced in a new context.

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I turned 36 today. 36 years on this Earth. 36 years as a Canadian citizen. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I learned the truth about this land that we claim to be our own. The Indigenous Peoples in Canada have suffered immensely, and for the most part, their story has been untold until recently.
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Our Word for 2017: STEADY

olive chan —  January 7, 2017

“As we start this new year, I am sick, worn, and weary…” So began my journal entry on January 1, when Tim and I had our 9th annual Blue Day. For those unfamiliar with what a Blue Day is, we set aside a day to dream, to listen, and to plan for the year (you can read more about this practice in our free ebook, Fight With Me). This year was the first time we actually did it on New Year’s Day.
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This Advent, I’ve decided to do a series of photo reflections based on the Advent Photo-A-Day guide put out by AliveNow magazine. I did a similar series for Lent earlier this year and I found the practice to be enriching, both in terms of allowing me a creative outlet each day and also giving me a word to focus on as I listen to God and prepare my heart for Christmas.
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I considered it a grand experiment. How would a mother of two young kids and wife to an entrepreneur manage to take a whole month off to rest? That was the big question.
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[Trigger warning: sexual violence]

Thirty-five. The number of years of life I am celebrating.

Thirty-five. The number of times she is forced to have sex with different men a day. She’s only 7 years old.

Let that sink in.
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Dear Depressed Me,

I love you. But I haven’t always loved you like this. I used to struggle with accepting who you were. I used to love you partially—with some reservations and hesitancies. I used to dislike you. Resent you at times, even. But my love for you is different now. It’s deeper and fuller.
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“Are these tears of gratitude?” my counsellor asked as my eyes began to well up. I bit my lower lip and rivers of pain spilled down my face.

“No.” I answered. “I have no words for it yet, but obviously it’s something deep.” I was surprised by the sudden release of emotion. She had asked me a question about Tim and our marriage.
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At the start of each new year, we like to choose one word. A guide or theme for the year, so to speak. Something to give us focus in the ebb and flow of life.

Our word for 2015 was “Strengthen.” We wanted to become stronger; we also needed strength. In retrospect, it was a hard, dark year marked by the unexpected presence of Post Partum Depression, but we did receive all the strength we needed to get through it.

For 2016, we are choosing the word, “Moments.”
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There were many difficult things about the first year with two children. There was the adjustment of trying to split our attention to meet the needs of both kids. There was the challenge of trying to get sufficient rest when they’d take turns being awake during the day and then take turns waking us up at night. There was the strain on our marriage and trying to stay connected when each of us barely coped with our own responsibilities. There was the seemingly futile fight against germs as colds got passed around and around in the winter months. But as I thought about it, I realized that the hardest part of the transition for me wasn’t something external. It was asking for and accepting help.
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