What We Are Learning in Our 0th Year of Marriage

This is a guest post written by Andrew Lee, who just got married this past year. I (Tim) met Andrew in Zoom because he reached out after reading our blog. We instantly connected and it’s been fun giving him feedback on his writing. Andrew is an Asian American based in the San Francisco area, a developer at Dayspring Partners, and graduated with a computer science major from Stanford.


Marriage is a gift. Marriage is also difficult and full of never-ending challenges. But always, marriage is a journey.

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Why I did a 3-month Performance Review for my Wife

[This is a preview of a blog post I wrote for Converge Magazine.]

After 3 months of marriage, I decided to have a performance review with my wife. You heard it right, a performance review. I let her know what she was doing well as a wife, and what she needed to improve on. Before you write me off as a chauvinistic jerk (which at times I can be), my wife did the same for me. It was a mutual process. And it was very helpful for strengthening our marriage.

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The bump’s the trump

It’s hard to believe that I’m at 30 weeks – which means there are only 10 weeks to go!  I think my belly has finally hit the point where it’s obvious enough that strangers will ask me when I’m due.  It also seems to be the focal point for most people I interact with.

I was telling T last night that people no longer notice or comment on things that would have been noticed pre-bump.  Things like new glasses (I’ve had them for a month now and only one person has noted it) and the fact that I’m taking advantage of the pregnancy phenomenon of thick and healthy hair (I’m growing it out right now and planning to donate it about a month before I’m due to make wigs for kids with cancer).  Nope, people generally just notice my belly.  Which is fine.  And in a way, I think it is preparing me for the shift of attention away from me once baby arrives.

In other news, these last couple weeks have seen a couple new developments.  I notice that baby has hiccups about twice a day.  And at times, I can feel little protrusions that seem to be baby’s feet or head or some other pointy bit jutting out of my abdomen.  It’s kind of fun to visualize baby in there.

These last few days, I’ve noticed a definite increase in my appetite.  It feels like the first few weeks of pregnancy again – I am constantly eating!  I seem to be shifting toward a new mode of operation where the days and nights roll into each other and are punctuated by eating times.  This, too, is preparation for what’s ahead I suspect.

Anyway, it’s been a while since I posted a photo.  So here’s me at 30 weeks, complete with the new glasses and long, flowing hair.  ;)  Can you spot the emerging belly button?