Communication Hiccups in our Marriage

olive chan —  February 8, 2013 — 3 Comments

You would think that since my husband and I speak the same language, it would be fairly easy to understand each other. Somehow that is not the case.

Communication Hiccups in our Marriage One day before going on a grocery run my husband asked me, “So, what kind of jam would you like me to pick up?”
“Oh, whatever. It doesn’t matter,” I replied nonchalantly.
“Um, I don’t really like blueberry jam.”
I shook my head, “Nah.”
“Just get the kind we always get. Peach!” I exclaimed.
“Uhhh… okay…” said my husband shaking his head.

Seriously, do I always have to spell things out for him? Sometimes he finishes my sentences and I swear he can read my mind… and then other times, he is just completely clueless. The inconsistency is frustrating.

And then there are these scenarios…

“Tim, can you please take out the garbage?”
“Sure…” he would reply while checking Facebook on his laptop.
Time would pass.
“Tim, I thought you said you would take out the garbage?”
“I did? When?” he would ask, sounding genuinely surprised.

Since then I’ve learned a few things:

1) Tim should take the skill “good at multi-tasking” off his resume. He can obviously only do one thing at a time.

2) Just because Tim responds to me, it doesn’t mean that he’s aware that he responded to me.

What George Bernard Shaw says is so true:

“The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

As frustrating as this is sometimes, I’ve learned that I can take advantage of this every now and then by saying, out of the blue, “Tim, I thought you said you would take out the garbage and wash the dishes… and the bathroom… both bathrooms… and give me a foot massage afterward?”

What? It’s not my fault he has a bad memory.
What communication hiccups have you had in your relationships? Answer in the comments.


  • Lol. I’m like that with restaurants. I’ll ask who I am dating where they want to eat, and they go….wherever is fine. I’ll then choose a place, and they’re like , “No, not there.”
    “How about here?” “No…not there either.” Somehow, lost in translation is an understatement in relationships.

    • olivechan

      Haha, Vincent. So true! We’re sometimes like that with restaurants too.

  • Karen

    I can connect with the second scenario!