I can’t begin to count the number of times Tim has saved my life. Not in any dramatic fashion, mind you. He hasn’t pushed me out of the path of a speeding train, or plunged into a freezing river to rescue my unconscious body. Although, he probably dreams of being my hero in that way. Still, he has saved my life. He’s done it in more daily, subtle, almost mundane ways.
Left to my own devices, I would most likely run myself into the ground. I would overcommit to things. I would get a lot less sleep. I would try too hard to attain the ever elusive image of perfection I harbor in my mind. I would, in short, have trouble simply being myself.
My husband saves me from self-destruction. Here are some of the ways he does it:
Protecting my rest
“Go take a nap,” Tim often tells me. I give him a dozen or so excuses and then he tell me again, “Go take a nap!” He protects my rest when I resist it. When I have trouble falling asleep, he encourages me to simply lie there and enjoy the feeling of being in bed.
Letting me fail
Tim is often the voice of grace when other voices in my mind condemn me for my shortcomings and weaknesses. His encouragement has given me courage to fail in the kitchen, to ding up the car and to lose at board games. He shows me that it’s ok if I don’t always win or do things perfectly and reminds me that I am loved regardless. For a while, he worked with me to overcome my fear of picking up the phone to call people. He promised me that for each time I called him, he would buy me flowers. His ploy worked.
Helping me say “No”
I dislike turning invitations down. The problem with that is I am an introvert and also not a high energy person so there are inevitably events I cannot attend. Tim helps me to live within my limits. He treats me with dignity and helps me face my disappointment of not having more energy.
Making me laugh
Tim saves me from taking myself too seriously. One time, I was rather upset about something (I can’t remember what exactly anymore) and there was nothing we could do to correct the situation. Tim looked at me and said, “You need to laugh. Say, ‘Ha ha ha ha ha’.” I looked at him as if he was crazy but he insisted. So I hesitantly began, “Ha ha ha…” Before long, we were both buckled over in laughter. I’ve learned from him to laugh more and not be so serious about everything.
Always carrying snacks
Even before we started dating, he noticed that I would get hungry pretty frequently and he would carry snacks around so that I would have something to eat. He still reminds me to pack emergency food. At home, he will save mini-meals for me in the fridge so I have things to eat throughout the day. It’s a good thing he does this because I turn into a monster grump when I go too long on an empty stomach.
Perspective
Being in relationship with him saves me from selfishness and tunnel vision. He reminds me that there are other ways of seeing the world and that it’s not all about me.
In little and not-so-little ways, my husband saves me on a daily basis. He may look like your average guy, but he’s a hero in my books.
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