How to trap a husband

olive chan —  August 30, 2011 — 3 Comments

As this pregnancy has progressed, I have found myself struggling with fears and insecurities I never thought existed in me.  In the last couple months, I’ve asked T at least three or more times a day week a common yet impossible to answer question, “Am I fat??!

How to Trap a HusbandTo which, he has replied, “Yes….  No….  Um…..  I dunno?”

The other day we were laughing about this situation and he asked me what I was really asking.  What was behind this question about being fat or not?  Someone (a mother of grown children) told him I was looking for affirmation.  I think that’s part of it, but for me, it is deeper than that even.

Anyway, here’s my attempt to decipher my own question.  I can’t speak for all pregnant women, but I know that for myself, when I ask, “Am I fat?”  I’m really saying:  I’m having a hard time loving myself and accepting this changing body of mine.  I wonder if I’m still beautiful, acceptable, lovable and valuable.  The person I had been so accustomed to is no longer.  Can I love this new me?  Maybe you can help me love me?  

Of course, I know that the deepest, most satisfying love I seek ultimately comes from God’s heart toward me.  But I am learning that sometimes, it helps to borrow my husband’s or a friend’s love when I seem to have misplaced my own.

photo credit: Greything via photo pin cc
  • Anonymous

    you are not fat, you are beautiful, with a beautiful life inside you! proud of you!

  • Vanessa

    For me it's been a continual journey of acceptance and love and trust that when Jamie (and Jesus) speak to me and say that I am beautiful, that they mean it. And I am. And so are you. :)

  • becky

    a part of it is also not listening to those lies from the evil one of how fat, unworthy, unloved, etc. we are…because we ARE beautiful, we ARE worthy and we ARE loved by our Creator and husbands too. otherwise, if the husbands didn’t look beyond the external beauty they wouldn’t have married their wives at all. i often remember 1 Peter 3:3-4 to remind myself that external beauty is temporary/fleeting, but what God often looks at is our hearts :).
    olive, you are beautiful inside out! and even if your body is changing…you still remain to be His beloved beautiful daughter! take that to heart!