Long-distance dating is hard. And given a choice, most people would probably avoid it. But it’s also quite common. In this jet-setting age where people frequently travel for school or work, there’s a pretty good chance that at some point of the relationship, a couple will find themselves in separate cities. For some couples, the physical distance affects their relationship negatively and they eventually break up. For these people, their relationship can be described as, “out of sight, out of mind.” But for others, “distance makes the heart grow fonder,” and their relationship is strengthened during the time they are apart.
When Tim and I started dating, I was in Toronto and he was in Vancouver. He asked me out over Skype and we didn’t see each other in person until a month into our dating relationship. In the year and a half between the time we started dating and when we got engaged, we spent about two-thirds of our relationship living in separate places around the world. It took a lot of work, but we made the distance between us work for us rather than against us. Along the way, here are some of the pros and cons we discovered about long-distance relationships.
Things that were good:
- It forces you to be intentional.
One of the best things about being in two different places was that we had to make the most of the time we did spend together. Because there were time zone differences to factor in, our conversations would often have to be scheduled and could only last a maximum of two hours long. Knowing that we only had those precious little windows of time to connect forced us to think about what we wanted to talk about in advance. Since both of us are list-makers, we would often have a list of stories we wanted to tell the other person or questions we wanted to discuss so that we wouldn’t waste any “air time” when we got to talk. If we had dated in the same city, it would have been much easier for us to shift our focus onto doing activities together and neglect the deeper conversations that ultimately helped set a good foundation for our relationship. Dating long-distance required us to get to know each other from the inside out.
You can read the rest of the article HERE.