Archives For advice

Three days ago, Seth Adam Smith published a blog post entitled “Marriage Isn’t For You” that went viral (Seth says it has over 4 million views so far). His cleverly titled post explained that marriage isn’t about your own happiness, but about your spouse’s happiness.
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[“What I Learned” is a guest post series of lessons learned in relationships that matter the most (you can send us your story too). This guest post is by fellow blogger Ngina Otiende.]

Words have creative power.

The universe was created with words.

In marriage and when life gets busier – kids, career commitments e.t.c – the small things tend to suffer first.
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[This is an interview I did with Dad of Divas about fatherhood. An earlier version of this interview was originally posted on his Dads in the Limelight series. I was the 351st dad that he has interviewed.]
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After spending the last decade surrounded by people in their twenties, I’ve discovered the topic that occupies the majority of their thoughts is relationships. They think about how to find the right person to marry and they wonder whether the person they are dating is their soul mate.
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As I browse the magazines in the checkout line at the grocery I notice that the majority of cover stories are either about celebrities getting married or breaking up. It makes me wonder what the difference is between a marriage that lasts a lifetime, and a marriage that ends because of sickness, poverty, unfaithfulness, falling out of love, or other changes in life. I believe a major contributing factor to a marriage lasting or not is the mentality of the couple going into marriage.
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“Make a list of qualities that you are looking for in a wife.” That was the advice that many people gave me as a single person – in magazines, conferences, and as personal advice. So I started making my list: beautiful, intelligent, fun, adventurous, and low-maintenance.
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9 Ways to Cheer Up Your Wife

tim chan —  December 27, 2012 — 7 Comments

Is your wife in a bad mood? Or is she just tired? Here are 9 great ideas for cheering up your wife.
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Dear Brand New Mom

olive chan —  October 22, 2012 — 2 Comments

Dear Brand New Mom,

I remember feeling like I was semi-equipped for the first three months of my baby’s life. Beyond that, it was a big, blank mystery. Maybe I wouldn’t have been ready to hear about what came after those first weeks, but in retrospect, I think I would have appreciated if someone had given me a heads up or some pointers. Anyway, as one who’s only had ten months of motherhood experience, I’m not that far ahead. But hopefully what I have to say will be helpful to you. Here are some things I wish someone had told me: Continue Reading…

How to Find a Mature Man

olive chan —  June 27, 2012 — 7 Comments

“I can’t find any mature men to date.” All too often, this is what I hear from women – especially Christian women.  They bemoan the fact that every man they know is not mature enough (or the mature ones are all taken).  Well, here’s what I think: the mature man is difficult to find because the mature man is a myth.  He does not exist.

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When Tim proposed to me, he gave me a set of boxing gloves.  I remember opening up the gift and being quite shocked.  Was this his idea of being romantic?  Then I read the written note attached to them: “Our relationship has had its share of fights, challenges, and difficulties.  And we have and are continuing to learn how to work through these. The boxing gloves are for us to share.  One for you, one for me.  We will fight together.”  Suddenly, even a diamond ring could not have been more romantic!
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