Archives For Marriage

[We recently celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. Thinking back, attending a marriage conference was one of the memories that stood out to us. This is a guest post by our dear friend, Monica Garibay, who incidentally attended the same marriage conference we did.]

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to attend a Christian marriage conference. My husband and I decided to go not because we had a particular problem to solve, or because we were on the edge of divorce. Rather, we saw it as an opportunity to get away and work more on our relationship. I believe that human beings are social beings. However, interpersonal relations are the hardest to keep healthy and strong on a continuous basis unless we make a conscious effort of doing so. When my friends ask my opinion about whether or not attending a marriage conference is worth it, I tell them about my experience.

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It’s our anniversary today. Seven years ago we celebrated the beginning of our marriage with friends and family. In the weeks leading to this anniversary we have been reflecting on some of the things we’ve learned about marriage since our wedding day. Here are 7 things we’ve learned in the last 7 years of marriage – most of them in this seventh year.
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What a year it’s been! We continue to be humbled that folks like reading our stuff and would actually share our posts with friends. This year, we’ve seen several of our pieces gain an audience and more delightfully, we’ve had the blessing of hearing from and having dialogues with our readers – some of whom we’ve never met.

As we end off 2013, we’ve rounded up our favourite posts from this year. Enjoy!
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Three days ago, Seth Adam Smith published a blog post entitled “Marriage Isn’t For You” that went viral (Seth says it has over 4 million views so far). His cleverly titled post explained that marriage isn’t about your own happiness, but about your spouse’s happiness.
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[This is a guest post by Randy Hamm from The Marriage Mentor. He has been working with premarital and married couples for over 10 years.]

“Um, to be honest, what would we talk to a mentor about for 6 hours?”

I had just explained that I usually recommend a minimum of three, 2-hour sessions (for a total of 6 hours) for premarital mentoring. The bride-to-be (let’s call her Kate) on the other end of the line couldn’t imagine needing to talk for so long about their relationship. I had them complete an online assessment, and once they began to see their assessment results, they decided that it couldn’t hurt. Halfway through the second session they, specifically the guy (let’s call him Will), commented how much they enjoyed the process: exploring their differences, looking at the families they came from and their styles of communication. Now they are eager to get to the next topics of discussion (finances, sexuality, kids, etc).

I’ve seen dozens of couples in the Vancouver area make discoveries like this.
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We’ve spent the last week in Bali, Indonesia. It’s one of the most beautiful vacation destinations in Asia, and also where my brother recently got married. One of the things we’ve enjoyed during our stay here was having conversations with the local Balinese people. What we’ve discovered is that the marriage rules in Indonesia are quite different from what we are familiar with in North America.
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[“What I Learned” is a guest post series of lessons learned in relationships that matter the most (you can send us your story too). This guest post is by fellow blogger Ngina Otiende.]

Words have creative power.

The universe was created with words.

In marriage and when life gets busier – kids, career commitments e.t.c – the small things tend to suffer first.
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After spending the last decade surrounded by people in their twenties, I’ve discovered the topic that occupies the majority of their thoughts is relationships. They think about how to find the right person to marry and they wonder whether the person they are dating is their soul mate.
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Many families I know live by the motto, “Family First.” Olive and I try to live by this principle as well. We believe that relationships are the most important thing in life, and of those, our relationship with God and family are the most valued. But what does that look like practically?
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[This is an excerpt of our book, “Then Came The Baby“, about the time I fought with my in-laws shortly after Allie was born.]

Before Allie was one week old, I had a big fight with Olive’s parents. They were so angry they wanted to cancel Christmas.

Well, technically no one could cancel Christmas. But they wanted to cancel Christmas with us by changing their plane tickets to fly back to Toronto early.
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