Let him who walks in the dark,
who has no light,
trust in the name of the LORD
and rely on his God.
But now, all you who light fires
and provide yourselves with flaming torches,
go, walk in the light of your fires
and the torches you have set ablaze.
This is what you will receive from my hand:
You will lie down in torment.
~Isaiah 50:10b-11~
Flipping through some old journals last night, I came across this entry. It was written at a height of my struggle with singleness but in re-reading it, I think the truths embedded are applicable to other times of “darkness” as well. It came as a response to the above passage. I pray this will encourage you.
I picture myself in a cave. My eyes are open yet I see nothing. It’s pitch dark. I hear a voice though. A gentle, inviting voice; confident and firm. A familiar voice. Recognition of the voice makes my heart leap and a smile break across my face. No one can see it, of course, because it’s so dark. I turn and face the voice. “Reach out and hold my hand,” He says. Where is your hand? I wonder. I stretch out my hand and instantly, it is wrapped in warmth. How wonderful! I am not alone in here! What’s more, the One who holds my hand knows the way out – afterall, He did make this place.
I’m tempted to ask Him for some light so that I can make sure I don’t slip. But I realize, it’s dark for a reason. He does not want me to see what’s in here. He wants to know I trust Him. Though I can’t see myself, I know He can see me. He’s promised not to let my foot slip. So we walk.
At times, it feels like we’re going up. At times, it feels like we’re going down. There are no clues about where I am or how much longer this journey will be. Once in a while, when the terrain gets too rough, He scoops me up and carries me.
There are other voices in the cave with us. Voices that taunt me, voices that scare me.
“Why can’t you just get your own light and navigate your own way?”
“He’s taking you the long route, you know.”
“You’re so pathetic.”
“He doesn’t really care for you.”
“How are you so sure he’s leading you out of here?”
“You are such a fool.”
“You’ll never make it. You’re gonna die in here.”
I have no clue how these other voices know who I am but sometimes, what they say starts getting to me. He knows this. So when those times come, He gently squeezes my hand to remind me Who I’m walking with. Sometimes, instead of squeezing my hand, He’ll start singing. And pretty soon, His rich melodious voice drowns out (and silences?) all those other voices.
He does not tell me where we are going. Only that it will be good. As we walk, I imagine it to be like a meadow. Wide open sky, wild flowers all around, birds singing as they flit from tree to tree. And grass. Soft, lush, green grass…
“Pay attention now,” He says. I snap out of my reverie. He’s taking this opportunity to teach me things as we walk. Things about Himself, things about this world, thing about me and the rest of humanity. As I listen, I realize I still have much growing up to do. I guess I’m ok with that.
One day, we enter a place where there is light! It’s not as bright as I had imagined. “The full sunshine is still up ahead,” He tells me. He knows what I’m thinking. Even so, I’m delighted. He’s brought me through the darkness!
I look around and see a friend. I’m not sure if I’ve really met him before, but I know he’s my friend. He sees me, too. He walks over to me with a big grin. “Where have you been?” he asks. He’s been waiting for me. I explain. I tell him about the cave and the One who lead me through it, the awful voices and the lessons I learned. “Hey, I’ve been there too!” my friend chimes in. Excited, we share our stories.
Suddenly, we realize Someone is watching us. Full of joy, we turn to Him. Can we walk the rest of the way together? Yes, of course, He replies. That’s why I brought you here.
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
~Proverbs 3:5-6~