CHEERIOS

i’m going on a 3 week hiatus and i’m not sure if i’ll get a chance to update anything. so MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! be good while i’m gone. ;p

SAFE MODE

i’m typing away at my blog entry and i glance down under the posting window to see three slightly peculiar words: enter safe mode. and i think, wouldn’t it be great if we could have that in real life? just press a button and enter the safe mode where none of life’s bad stuff can get at you. in the safe mode, you can avoid all of satan’s attacks, you can be free from all the pain and suffering in this world – you can reach for your dreams without the risk of falling or failing. and then i realize that as Christians, we live in dangerous mode, fighting daily battles. yet ultimately, we do live in safe mode. because of Christ, we are hidden in God. He keeps us safe. He protects us from harm. in His will, we can accomplish much.

as Christians, we have so much reason to celebrate today – Jesus’ birthday – the day safe mode was made possible. :>

NOT ALONE

how easy it is to slip into self-pity. tonight, over dinner, i was mulling over in my head how it seems like everyone has parties to go to and i’m sitting at home by myself. but then i realized that i am privileged to be surrounded by family, to have good meals to eat and to have a nice home to live in. i’ve had two whole weeks off already and i’ve spent plenty of that time catching up with friends. i just did all my partying earlier than everyone else. ;>

i’m sorry, God, for insulting You, for not appreciating all You’ve blessed me with. even if i were to live by myself on the streets, the knowledge of Your saving grace is reason enough to praise You forever.

SEPARATION ANXIETY

i want time to stop. it’s just over 48 hours before i leave the country to go to asia with my parents and i don’t want to go. i’ve been looking forward to this trip for almost a year and now that it’s on my doorstep, i want it to go away. i won’t play dumb and say i don’t know why. i know exactly why. because going means i will have to face winter term when i come back. going means that my time of rest is over. going also means i won’t get to see a lot of people i want to see. and although it’ll only be three weeks, i know i will not be the same person when i return.

ah wells. time will not stop. i will have to face another crazy term of busyness. and i will have to change. my only comfort is this: God goes with me.

O COME, O COME EMMANUEL

how fitting a prayer for our nations today.

FINDING FAITH

what do you do when you’ve coached a team of young people to present a drama for the Christmas outreach dinner only to watch all their hard work and preparation vanish because a microphone didn’t work and there wasn’t enough experience to know how to deal with it? is it enough to say that God sees the heart and knows just how much we wanted glory for Him? is it enough to realize that we gave our best? do we mourn the loss of an opportunity? is it possible to believe that despite “blowing it,” God could still use us to touch hearts? have i failed God?

my human self would have me beat myself up over not preparing them well enough. but looking through the eyes of grace, i resolve to believe that God is still sovereign. i do not know what i can find faith. maybe if i focus on His nail-scarred hands…

HEART CRIES :: WAR CRIES

went to see The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers this afternoon (yes, i’m a nerd, seeing it opening day). i’m not gonna do a movie review (because i like the book better) but i am gonna share a little insight i gained from the experience.

about a month ago, i read the book Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. in it, he talks about how deep within the heart of any man, there is a desire to fight a battle. while i am not a man (nor do i claim to begin to remotely understand one), i caught a glimpse of that fire within as i watched the movie. seeing the men all lined up along the walls at Helm’s Deep, bracing thunder and lighting and bravely facing the oncoming army of 10,000, i felt a sense of admiration swell up in my soul. at that moment, i recognized that distinct difference between the heart of a man and a heart of a woman. i also saw a little piece of what war in the heavenlies might be like: forces of good against the forces of evil. perhaps even a bit like the war described in Revelation 12. for me, the battle scene illustrated our spiritual battle. this is why we must pray diligently. but we also pray with faith. for just as in the trilogy, good ultimately emerges victorious.