Thoughts about singleness, relationships, dating, and marriage
“Are these tears of gratitude?” my counsellor asked as my eyes began to well up. I bit my lower lip and rivers of pain spilled down my face.
“No.” I answered. “I have no words for it yet, but obviously it’s something deep.” I was surprised by the sudden release of emotion. She had asked me a question about Tim and our marriage.
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It’s our anniversary today. Seven years ago we celebrated the beginning of our marriage with friends and family. In the weeks leading to this anniversary we have been reflecting on some of the things we’ve learned about marriage since our wedding day. Here are 7 things we’ve learned in the last 7 years of marriage – most of them in this seventh year.
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We met the summer before I entered university. He was handsome, sporty, and impressively intelligent. A year my senior, he looked out for me during my first months as a frosh.
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What a year it’s been! We continue to be humbled that folks like reading our stuff and would actually share our posts with friends. This year, we’ve seen several of our pieces gain an audience and more delightfully, we’ve had the blessing of hearing from and having dialogues with our readers – some of whom we’ve never met.
As we end off 2013, we’ve rounded up our favourite posts from this year. Enjoy!
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Three days ago, Seth Adam Smith published a blog post entitled “Marriage Isn’t For You” that went viral (Seth says it has over 4 million views so far). His cleverly titled post explained that marriage isn’t about your own happiness, but about your spouse’s happiness.
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[This is a guest post by Randy Hamm from The Marriage Mentor. He has been working with premarital and married couples for over 10 years.]
“Um, to be honest, what would we talk to a mentor about for 6 hours?”
I had just explained that I usually recommend a minimum of three, 2-hour sessions (for a total of 6 hours) for premarital mentoring. The bride-to-be (let’s call her Kate) on the other end of the line couldn’t imagine needing to talk for so long about their relationship. I had them complete an online assessment, and once they began to see their assessment results, they decided that it couldn’t hurt. Halfway through the second session they, specifically the guy (let’s call him Will), commented how much they enjoyed the process: exploring their differences, looking at the families they came from and their styles of communication. Now they are eager to get to the next topics of discussion (finances, sexuality, kids, etc).
I’ve seen dozens of couples in the Vancouver area make discoveries like this.
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In July 2006, I was thoroughly struggling with being single. I had no clue at that time that by November of that year, I would be dating Tim. I only knew that at the age of 25, I deeply desired to be married and seemingly had no prospects on the horizon. I took a personal retreat that summer and one afternoon I had this vision. I wrote it in my journal and it carried me forward into the days ahead. I want to share it with our readers today.Read More