Thoughts about singleness, relationships, dating, and marriage
It’s our tradition to have pasta on Valentine’s Day. No, it’s not because we think Italian food is particularly romantic (although it is delicious). Nor are we trying to imitate that scene in “Lady and the Tramp.” It’s a tradition we’ve adopted because of what happened our very first Valentine’s Day as a dating couple.
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[This is an excerpt from our book Fight With Me: How We Learned to be Married, which you can purchase on Amazon or get free on our blog]
The summer before our daughter was born, Olive and I had a chance to work on a painting together. It was the first time we had done this. We had visited Whiffen Spit near Victoria, BC and were delighted with its breathtaking view. Inspired by what we saw, we bought a large, 3 feet by 4 feet canvas and set to work.
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You would think that since my husband and I speak the same language, it would be fairly easy to understand each other. Somehow that is not the case.
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I’m going to be candid with you today. I’m going to write about real sex. Call me naive, but when I got married, I did not know much about sex. I grew up in a conservative church where we were taught that sex was reserved for marriage only. I believed that (and still believe the best sex is within marriage), so I tried not to think about it and decided I’d keep my virginity until I got married. Actually, I was pretty afraid of my sexuality in general. Which meant I had a lot to learn when I finally became a wife.
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I can’t begin to count the number of times Tim has saved my life. Not in any dramatic fashion, mind you. He hasn’t pushed me out of the path of a speeding train, or plunged into a freezing river to rescue my unconscious body. Although, he probably dreams of being my hero in that way. Still, he has saved my life. He’s done it in more daily, subtle, almost mundane ways.
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“Make a list of qualities that you are looking for in a wife.” That was the advice that many people gave me as a single person – in magazines, conferences, and as personal advice. So I started making my list: beautiful, intelligent, fun, adventurous, and low-maintenance.
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