Category Archive

SINFUL = FULL OF SIN

the only way i will be found faithful at the end of the day is if Jesus keeps me faithful. i have no faithfulness of my own.

UNDERSTANDING THE PROPHETS

i interrupt my letter and thank you card writing to post my most recent thoughts – my journal entry this morning at that! (actually, i’m just in desperate need for a break from my papers and cards and envelopes.)

i am understanding more and more the heart of the prophet. that the insight God gives leads to repentance and trust in Him. that the sorrow begins in the heart of the one called to speak. that a prophet lives to please God and not people.

being back here and having the platform i now have to speak out on the state of missions in our church, i recognize the unique position that God has placed me in. i am, perhaps, a modern day prophet? on first thought, it sounds lofty. but what is a prophet? it is one whom God has given a message to speak and is compelled to speak His word, despite people’s reactions, acceptance, rejection, popularity or disdain. from my experiences this past year, i know that God has given me much to speak on; that God has a challenging message for the leadership and those around me to hear and hopefully act on. i also know that this past year has taught me to speak what i know i need to speak. i can hide no longer.

i only pray that i would be full of love – that it would not all be for nothing. Lord, help me!

REALITY IS

the great truth, i discovered today, is that God’s word is the Word of LIFE. the great lie of the enemy is that God’s word leads to death. in the struggle against sin, we are often deceived into thinking that obedience to God’s Word will mean loss for ourselves – loss of freedom, loss of relationships, loss of enjoyment of life… so we shy away from it, or dread to hear what He has to say. but the truth is that His decrees are for our delight – everlasting delight, not just temporary thrill. God is always for life. although His word may demand surrender or even death to certain parts of us or things that we cling to, that death is actually the first stage of real life. the life we think is life, then, is actually death in His eyes. real life, to God, is death to ourselves. of course, reality is not defined by what we think it is, but by what God says it is. and when we remember that God’s desire is for us to really live, we can truly say that His decrees are our delight.

did i just confuse everyone? ;p

A MINISTER’S CONFESSION

O God,
I know that I often do Thy work without Thy power,
And sin by my dead, heartless, blind service,
My lack of inward light, love and delight,
I see sin in my heart in seeking the approbation of others;

This is my vileness to make men’s opinion my rule, whereas
I should see what good I have done,
And give Thee glory,
Consider what sin that I have and mourn for that.

It is my deceit to preach and pray,
And to stir up others’ spiritual affections
In order to beget commendations,
Whereas my rule should be daily to consider myself more vile
Than any man in my own eyes.

But Thou dost show Thy power by my frailty,
So that the more feeble I am, the more fit to be used,
For Thou dost pitch a tent of grace in my weakness.

Help me rejoice in my infirmities and give Thee praise,
To acknowledge my deficiencies before others
And not to be discouraged by them,
That they may see Thy glory more clearly.

Teach me that I must act by a power supernatural
And bear evils beyond my strength,
Acting for Christ in all, and
Having His superior power to help me.

Let me learn of Paul
Whose presence was mean
His weakness was great
His utterance comtemptable,
Yet Thou didst account him faithful and blessed.

Lord, let me lean on Thee as he did,
And find my ministry Thine.

I’D RATHER BE…

something that caught my attention last night at the student prayer meeting:

Being a healthy beggar is better than being a sick king.

how true that statement is! so many times we run after (or at least our hearts run after) things that would make us feel more comfortable, valued or in control but at the cost of our health. maybe it’s not our physical health that slowly wanes, but we fail to see our need for genuine wholeness. being away this year, i’ve come face to face with many different aspects of me that desperately need the healing touch of God. i used to think that i was pretty well off, that i didn’t have many problems. but the more i know God and the more i know myself, the more i see that what i need is not chicken soup, echinaecea or antibiotics, i need surgery.

Lord, make me a healthy beggar!

LIFE WARS

You do not know what prayer is for until you know that life is war.
–John Piper, Let The Nations Be Glad

the other day, i was chatting with a good friend over msn, telling him how much we need prayer over here because of all that’s been happening. i thought to myself “there are only three weeks before i go home… i can’t wait! i’ll be able to relax a bit then.” but then i realized that no, even though i feel the intensity of the spritual battle here, it’s exactly the same back in North America. the war’s just not as obvious there. in fact, because things are more comfortable in North America, the enemy has an upperhand because he’s fooled us into believing that we don’t have to fight. reality though, is that on this side of eternity, it will always be a war, no matter where you are on the earth. and the more i see reality, the more i understand the final words of the Bible and why they’re so meaningful.

on a related note, i’m also seeing more and more that prayer is not the supportive, behind the scenes activity that we tend to think it is. prayer is the cutting edge, front-lines offensive attack. prayer conquers enemy territory before we physically get there or see any results. that said, i realize that all that i’ve seen happen this year is only a shadow of the valiant efforts of the saints back home who’ve gone ahead of me by prayer, cutting through the enemy lines in the realm of the unseen.

EPISODE III

prior to May 2005, i had never seen any of the Star Wars movies. of course, living with three brothers here, within this past month, i’ve managed to see all six of them. however, the experience of seeing EPIII was one never to be forgotten.

our family here went on vacation to a nearby city this past weekend – one that actually was showing Star Wars in english! so after dinner on Saturday, we headed over to the theatre only to find out that the last english showing for the day was just finishing. not to be phased, our boys went to talk to the manager to ask if they would add a showing just for us. i wasn’t there for the conversation but obviously, their act was convincing because we got not only a showing in english, but free pop and practically a theatre all to ourselves! and when we walked in, we realized that the seats were fully adjustable, plush leather recliners. hahahaha… what a sweet deal. and what a funny surprise from Dad, who knew that i really wanted to watch this movie on the big screen with my brothers.

ah, He spoils me.