Category Archive

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packing, packing, packing… don’t really want to. but i know i have to… don’t know where to begin. hm, maybe doing the laundry would be a good start? ;p never thought i’d have so many mixed feelings and at such intensity. i wonder if this is a common thing for people to experience before leaving on a missions trip? …dunno. anywho, not much to write today. just one thing that’s stuck in my mind for almost a week now. in Chariots of Fire, Eric Liddel explains:

God made me for a purpose – to go to China. But God also made me fast… When I run, I feel His pleasure. Not to run would be to hold Him in contempt.

when i use my hands to make something beautiful, i feel His pleasure. and i pray i don’t hold Him in contempt.

“Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”
And Elisha prayed, “O LORD , open his eyes so he may see.” Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.
~2 Kings 6:16-17~

WHAT HAPPENED?

since when did i become such a stressball? since when did life’s pressures get to me and steal away my sunshine? since when did the furrow between my brows deepen and establish itself as a frequent feature on my countenance? where did the carefree child run to? why is there a harrowed grown-up living in this mind? why do i not recognize myself?

how do i go back?

Oh Lord, grant me faith like a child!

At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.
~Matthew 11:25~

SNEAK PEEK

from a recent journal entry:

Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!”
“Here I am,” he replied.

Here I am. Three words, spoken repeatedly by various godly people. Isaiah, Samuel, Abraham, Moses, Jacob… each of them knew where they were when they heard Your call.

So where is “here” for me? “Here” is as a student, a small but determined faith, a single woman, a Chinese-Canadian, a gifted artist, a beloved daughter, a soul struggling with pride and sin… Here is a place where I am redeemed and bought with no less than the very suffering and death of my Lord Jesus Christ. Here is at 22 years, just starting her life. Here is in Toronto, heading to Sendai. Here is a worship leader and fellowship chair. Here is where I have yet to make a journey, yet to discover the full extent of Your love, yet to overcome the challenge of my own ultimate sacrifice. This is here. And here I am.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”
~Isaiah 6:8~

POP QUIZ

If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary love. For a cupful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted.
~Amy Carmichael, If

My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
~James 3:12~

5 REASONS WHY I’M THANKFUL FOR SARS

yes, i actually have found reasons to be thankful for that which is causing so much grief in our city and our world these days…

reason #1: it shows our human frailty. in this age where people are so confident in science and themselves, a disease like this is humbling and puts perspective back into who we are compared to God.

reason #2: it drives us to unite in prayer. stemming from the first reason, people all over the world have been gathering to pray for God’s mercy and intervention.

reason #3: it has raised awareness of sanitation. this is especially beneficial in China/HK where cleanliness was not a priority before. now people know how to wash their hands properly!

reason #4: it has redirected my mission trip. God has used it to take me to Japan, where i have to completely rely on Him!

reason #5: it makes me completely rely on God! from keeping me and my team healthy to helping us reach Japanese students, i have to give it all into His hands. and this lets me know Him deeper. :>

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 [italics mine]~

PARADOX

my prayer, a couple weeks ago, was that God would show me how i could crucify my pride. in that week, it seemed like every scripture i read talked about crucifying the old self so that the new self could have life in Christ. and with the Easter weekend, the topic was imprinted on my mind even further. but i did not know what crucifying the self looked like in real life. i asked God, what do i DO to crucify my sinful nature? how do i get rid of this pride that doesn’t seem to go away?

this morning, i realized i received my answer. it’s NOT what I DO, but rather what i LET GOD DO. one cannot crucify himself, he must be crucified by another. so my original question, while it seemed to be a humble request, was actually driven by pride! the answer was not within my power, but rather without. i cannot crucify my own sin, i must let God do it. in other words, the answer was HUMILITY – letting God break me and ever seeking to put His will before my own. in this new light, i gained a breakthrough in my own sensitivity to sin. i saw how often i put myself on high ground when i have no right to. and i have come to appreciate more of Christ’s actions and attitude as a model for my own. i’m so grateful we have a God who is patient enough to teach us step by step. i know this road is long but oh what joy it will be to face my Maker and present to Him a well-spent life for His glory!

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus…
~Philippians 2:3-5~

COUNTDOWN

two weeks exactly until i turn 22. it seems both old and young at the same time. on one hand, 22 years is a considerable amount of time. i’ve taught and counselled so many “kids” that i feel like such a mother at times. on the other hand, 22 years is very short. i am only beginning to learn what it is to be an adult. i’m only beginning to see how little i understand about myself, the world and God.

thirteen days until i leave for missions. still don’t know where i’m going and who i’m going with. i don’t have airplane tickets, don’t know what to pack… don’t know much, really! but i do know that i’m walking with God and that’s enough for me.

lately, i’ve been finding new gems in the Word.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
~Psalm 139:17-18~
what baffles me is that God would find so much to think about me! like, what is there to think about for so long? anyway, it amazes me that God would think of us so much.

second gem…

…because by one sacrifice he [Jesus] has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.
~Hebrews 10:14~
as believers, ones who have been redeemed by Christ’s blood, we are already considered perfect in God’s eyes. however, we are still in the process of becoming holy. so holiness and perfection are separate of each other… something to chew on.

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
~Psalm 139:16~