Category Archive

ME? JUGGLE?

strolling through Place Jacques-Cartier in the heart of Old Montreal, our family came across a crowd of people watching a street performer intently. in front of him stood a boy, about 9 or 10 years old, listening carefully to the man’s instructions. the lesson at hand? juggling 101.

from the boy’s sheepish demeanour, it was obvious that he had never tried juggling before, let alone in front of a group so large. but the busker was skilled. he only asked that the boy keep looking at him and concentrate on catching the bowling-pin-shaped object with his left hand, switching it to his right and throwing it with his right hand to the man’s left hand. simple, really. and so they practiced with one pin. then two. then three. then four. by then, we were all cheering and laughing at the wonderful accomplishment this was for the young boy. but then the busker added a FIFTH pin! this just topped it all. within the span of maybe ten minutes, an untrained boy was juggling five objects back and forth between him and this master!

as the show ended and we all carried on our merry way, i couldn’t help but notice that my heart was lighter and i had a smile on my face. and i reflected on how the simple act of empowerment by this street performer had probably made the day (and maybe the life!) of this young boy. i marveled at the ripple effect it had on everyone watching.

seemingly impossible tasks are not so bad when you trust the right coach to lead you through.

THE WHITE ELEPHANT

there is a tale of a certain prince of a certain kingdom.  within this kingdom, there was a certain high official who was rather unpleasant.   and this certain high official became such a nuisance that the prince needed to rid the kingdom of him.  so, as any wise ruler would do, this prince decided to give this official an extravagant gift: a white elephant.

“how privileged i am to receive this gift!  and from the prince no less!  see how special i am,” said the official, beaming with pride.  but as the weeks wore on, the truth began to emerge.  the man’s life savings were being spent on keeping the white elephant content and he was quickly spiraling into debt.  but he could not give it away or sell it for to do so would be to offend the prince and perhaps cost him his life.  and so what was once appeared to be a blessing turned out to be a curse.

how many times do we chase after white elephants, thinking we’re in for something good when in reality, they’re only meant to destroy us.  and how many times do we look at others’ lives in envy, wishing we had a white elephant when we don’t see what the implications would be for us if we did have one.

dear God, teach me to be wise.  and teach me to be content.

I KNOW NOT LOVE

this morning, i was reading the story of Mary, anointing Jesus at Bethany with perfume and wiping his feet with her hair and i realized that i still have a very far way to go before i grasp the depth of his Calvary love.  i tried to picture myself in her position and i wondered if i could take my $26,300 this year and spend it on perfume to spill over his feet.  and then use my hair to wipe it up?!  who would do that?  only one who was deeply touched by the extent of his love.  in light of that, i still have a heart of stone.  which leads me to this question:  if i am not moved by Calvary love, how can i expect to be moved by the plight of man?

ABOUND IN YOU

THICKER THAN WATER

having relatives over is turning out to be a surprisingly pleasant experience.  in the last four days, i’ve learned stuff about my family from my uncle that has been rather fascinating.  i’ve learned the history of my dad’s chinese name (‘cuz my uncle was the one who named him!) and i’ve heard about lots of interesting foods from their home city that are no longer prepared or consumed.  but the coolest tidbit of info thus far has been that my grandfather (who i never had the chance to meet) used to be a thespian!  he showed my uncle pictures of himself as a youngster, acting on stage.  so it’s in the genes!!  :)  how very interesting.

ON YAKS AND PADDED BRAS

it’s looking to me like the closer it comes for me to leave, the more “stuff” God is revealing that i need to address. not that everything needs to be solved, but i think it’s stuff i haven’t acknowledged, stuff i’ve been trying to ignore.

take the issue of self-esteem. on monday, my friends and i were chatting and one of them pointed out that i may be offered a yak next year (implying a marriage proposal in local terms). immediately, my other friend chimed in, “yeah, what’s your price? like how many cattle would you require before you accept the offer?” my reaction? sorry, i’m not for sale. honestly though, i was a little hurt by the question. mostly because i want to believe that i’m more valuable than a herd of cattle (or even a yak!).

which leads me to yesterday, when i went to Pacific Mall with my visiting relatives. while looking at the qipao (traditional women’s dresses), my aunt remarked that i’d look good in one but i should get some padding to enhance my figure. again, to be honest, i appreciate that i’m not built like the typical model (very few people are) but i don’t need someone to draw attention to my deficits! gah.

anyway, i’m starting to wonder when all this poking and prodding from God is gonna end. i know i definitely prefer comfort and ignorance to this, but i suppose this is all a part of the Refiner’s Fire.

sigh.

Daddy, please tell me again that You love me.

HEART TRANSPLANT

about a month ago, at Willowcreek, i heard this analogy: sometimes, God has us up on the operating table. we’re vulnerable, open and bleeding all over the place. most of the time, when we’re there, we want to crawl off the table and hide our sickness. those around us see the mess we’re in and are tempted to react by shrinking away. but it’s those times that we have to hold each other’s hands and encourage each other not to get off the table until the Physician’s finished.

this weekend, i was on the operating table. i saw for the first time that my heart, which i had thought was relatively soft and responsive to others, was actually a heart of stone. i saw that at the core of me, i’m a selfish brat. and i saw that God, in His grace and patience, was slowly transforming this stone into flesh. of course, it’s a painful process but i’m gonna stay on this table until the transplant is complete.