SLOWLY SELF-DESTRUCTING

SLOWLY SELF-DESTRUCTING

sometimes, i think there’s a communication gap between my brain and my body. i just managed to stub three of my toes walking from my computer to the garbage can on the other side of my room. at work today, i hammered my thumb. and the other day, i whacked my elbow on the ceramic soap dish in my shower. that didn’t stop hurting until the next day. sigh. i think i’m still growing… as if! lol.

been doing some reflecting on everything that God has brought me through this summer. all the lessons i’ve learned. all the experiences He’s given me. the people i’ve met. the friendships that have developed. i’m really grateful for the time i’ve had just to read. all these new ideas; i feel like my mind has expanded so much! i’ve come to a new appreciation of God’s word as living, dynamic and exciting to study. and i’ve realized the importance of free and total abandonment to Christ in every moment of my day (not saying that i’ve reached it, but now i know it’s something to strive for). i hope and pray that i won’t forget these lessons when the busyness of school comes crashing down. i suppose this is one of the reasons why we need each other, to keep us accountable. :)

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:23-25

BLANK

BLANK

my mind feels blank. it took me an hour to get to work today and 1 1/2 hours after i started working, they told me there was nothing left to do until tomorrow. took another half hour bus ride to meet my mom to go home. two hours of travel for 1 1/2 hours of work. what a day. i guess it’s a good thing i’m getting paid more than $2 an hour! :p

no profound spiritual insights lately. although, i was reading The Message translation of the the book of Matthew this morning, and the sermon on the mount made a lot more sense. sort of related to that, i’ve been praying for God to convict me of sin daily. ‘cuz i want to experience His grace and new mercies. i want to be sold out to Jesus, but it always seems like there’s so much garbage in the way. i am so easily distracted. oh, how heaven will be so sweet; nothing to take my eyes off Jesus.

anyway, i’ll leave you with a couple passages i read this morning:

And don’t say anything you don’t mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it. You don’t make words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.
Matthew 5:33-37 [The Message]

Don’t be flip with the sacred. Banter and silliness give no honour to God. Don’t reduce holy mysteries to slogans. In trying to be relevant, you’re only being cute and inviting sacrilege.
Matthew 7:6 [The Message]

BALLERINA GIRL

BALLERINA GIRL

growing up, whenever i heard that song by lionel richie, i would secretly wish that someday, i’d be at a dance and out of the blue, my special guy would dedicate that song to me. i still think it’s a sweet idea, but i think it would make me sad more than anything ‘cuz i’m no longer a ballerina girl. that, and the notion of me being at a dance with a special guy seems very far off at the moment… but that’s not what i wanted to write about today. :P

i got a call from an auntie this evening, asking me whether i’d be able to dance for her music group’s outreach concert at the end of the month. it’s a chinese christian group and they do a lot of music ministry. unfortunately, i haven’t danced in three years, and three weeks would not be enough time for me to prepare something (especially since it’s a chinese song!). so i had to tell her no for this time.

deep inside, i miss dancing a lot. sometimes, i wonder how different i would be now if i had majored in dance rather than visual art when i was in high school. but i feel like i’m still waiting to return to dance. although, i’m not sure if i’d go back to ballet.

one of my dreams is to take some modern classes, learn sign language and combine them in worship. i know people have done this already. some call it body worship or interpretive dance. it’s sort of ironic that i’m currently preparing one for this saturday. but i want to be able to express the songs with a solid knowledge of what movements i’m using. i want it to be an educated piece of art so that i’m really giving my best to God. it saddens me that dance is not incorporated into our worship more and that so few people are encouraged to learn it.

i’m biased though. i’m a kinetic worshipper; my heart worships most fully when my body reflects my emotions.

Let Israel rejoice in their Maker;
let the people of Zion be glad in their King.
Let them praise his name with dancing
and make music to him with tambourine and harp.
Psalm 149:2-3

POWERFUL WORDS

POWERFUL WORDS

we looked at the story of Jonah in sunday school today. i haven’t read it in a very long time so it was refreshing to read it again. one verse in particular jumped out at me. i think it’s self explanatory, so i’ll just post it for you to chew on…

Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
Jonah 2:8

ouch.

some other words to chew on that i just came across…

A world without reference to Christ — this is the message of Toronto — is a world that, sooner or later, finishes by being against man. The history of the past, even recently, shows this. One cannot push God away without finding oneself refusing man.
~Pope John Paul II in reference to World Youth Day 2002

TEE HEE

TEE HEE

while rummaging through old papers in search of an address, i came across what could be my all-time favourite short story. i got it from my grade ten english teacher, who read it to us as a break from regular stuff. she was a little off the wall. but so am i. so here, i present to you, the African tale called

Chit-Chat

One day, a farmer was in his field, getting ready to pull some sweet potatoes out of the ground in order to sell them at the market, when one of the sweet potatoes said, “Fine, now you want to pull me up and sell me, but all the time I’ve been growing, you’ve hardly given me any water.”

Startled, the farmer looked around and said, “Who’s talking to me?” And his dog replied, “It was the sweet potato, you silly farmer!”

The farmer had never heard of a talking sweet potato or a talking dog — and he became a bit frightened. To protect himself, he started to pull a big branch from a tree. “Oh, no, you don’t,” said the tree. “You can’t take a branch from me to use as a stick. For years you’ve been enjoying my shade without ever saying ‘Thank you.'”

Now the farmer was really frightened. And he ran all the way to the King’s castle.

When he arrived, he told the King exactly what happened. “First the sweet potato talked to me,” he said, “then the dog, then the tree.”

“I think,” said the King, “you’ve been working in the sun too long. You need a rest.” And he waved the farmer away.

After the farmer left, the King pulled up his favourite chair. As he did, the chair laughed and said to the King, “Can you believe that farmer? Who ever heard of a talking sweet potato?”

LAUGHING GAS

LAUGHING GAS

i spent the past two nights bumming at my best friend’s house (thanks again, ruth!!!) and i gained a wonderful insight from her that i wanted to post the minute she said it, but alas, i had to wait until now… but all’s not lost, ‘cuz i’m here now, aren’t i? ;)

anyway, we were talking about how sometimes God asks us to do things that don’t make sense to us in our current circumstances but He asks us to obey nonetheless. then, she shared this illustration with me (now, i know in my last posting, Henry Cloud uses a similar analogy but the application this time is different)…

sometimes, in life, God does things that don’t make sense to us as an anesthetic for surgery. if we weren’t knocked out, we might want to pick up a scalpel and “help” God with the operation, thus interfering with His work. or, we might try to direct Him or even prevent Him from doing what is neccessary. God, in His infinite wisdom, “puts us out” sometimes so that He can accomplish His purpose. so even in the midst of being asleep, we have the hope that our Master Physician is freely at work and that when we wake up, we will see what a good job He did.

The fruit of righteousness will be peace;
the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.
Isaiah 32:17

this entry is dedicated to a dear friend whose understanding and support is invaluable especially at this time. thanks, you. :>

REDEMPTIVE TIME

REDEMPTIVE TIME

Imagine, for a moment, the situation. God had created a perfect place with perfect creatures to live in eternity. And, suddenly, evil arrived on the scene. What did God do?
…
God moved immediately to protect humankind from being in a state of eternal isolation, experiencing pain for a very long time. To protect Adam and Eve from eternal pain, he drove them out of eternity, guarded eternity with a cherubim, and sent them to a new place called redemptive time, where we live now. Here God could fix the problem; he could undo the effects of the fall. He could redeem his creation, and then bring humanity back into eternity after it was again holy and blameless.
…
Think of it another way. God has a sick creation. He needs to do surgery. Thus, he places us in the operating room of redemptive time. Into our veins he pumps the life-giving blood of grace and truth. During surgery, he excises evil and brings the renewed patient back into eternity in a holy state. We don’t know how long this surgery will last. We only know that we are expected to participate actively in our own surgery, and we don’t get any anesthesia for the procedure. That’s why growing up into the image of God often hurts so much.(emphasis mine)

~Dr. Henry Cloud, Changes That Heal