Recently, I watched this provoking TED talk called, “Why 30 is not the new 20.” In it, clinical psychologist Meg Jay challenges people in their 20’s to re-evaluate how they are spending their time and challenges the notion that one’s 20’s is a throwaway decade. She encourages young people to “claim” their 20’s by investing in who they might want to be, pursuing their careers by connecting with people beyond their immediate sphere of connections, and choosing their future families by being intentional about who they date.
One of my friends watched the talk and sent me this question, “That was a really inspirational TED talk – I watched the whole video. But I feel that, perhaps, this doesn’t take into account Christianity. In following God, I feel that I am being asked to forsake all my dreams and desires (a stable career, the opportunity to travel, and perhaps a spouse). I feel that by following God, that I am moving backwards through life. What are your thoughts on this?” Great question.
I agree with Meg Jay that the one’s 20’s is a very important decade. The heart of what I think the TED talk was trying to get at was not to waste your life. However, for those who follow Christ, I think there are even more fundamental, life-shaping ways of being intentional with those ten years than pursuing career, experiences and even a spouse. I’m no researcher or expert, but here are five things I think Christian 20-somethings can do to set a solid foundation for the rest of their lives:
1. Become Familiar with God
Use your 20’s to learn how to listen well. Get to know what God’s voice sounds like. Notice how he relates to you. Wrestle with him over the tough questions. Especially if you grew up in the church, use this time to test what you know of God and make your relationship with him truly your own. Read and learn from great writers and saints. Explore ways of prayer. Don’t just seek to know God intellectually, experience him. Grow and invest in your friendship with the One who loves you most.
2. Develop the Habit of Taking Faith Risks
In order to really know and experience God, you need to dare to be obedient to God. Your 20’s are an opportune time to go out on a limb in faith. This will look different for each person as God interacts with us as individuals. It could mean going overseas for a year or two or staying put and investing in the lives of existing neighbours. It could mean trying an extended fast or attending an all-night prayer gathering. It could mean being courageously generous and giving away more than you’re comfortable with. For my friend who posed the question, it means seemingly “moving backwards” in life. For me, it meant saying yes to dating Tim. Making a habit of taking faith risks now sets you up for greater acts of faith in the future when the stakes feel higher and you have more responsibilities and people in your life to consider.
3. Invest in Community
In your 20’s, you meet a broader range of people than ever before. School, work and faith community settings all provide new opportunities to develop life-shaping relationships. Take advantage of this time to develop friendships with people in different walks and stages of life. Use this time as well to learn how to relate well to others (eg., healthy conflict resolution, fostering vulnerability, honing your listening skills, etc.). Find people who challenge your faith and encourage you toward Christlike-ness and maintain those friendships.
4. Don’t Let Your Age Define You
Even though Meg Jay’s advice is targeted at 20-somethings, your age does not limit you. The goal is not to have a stable career, fully stamped passport and an amazing marriage (and maybe even kids) by the age of 30. God has his own timeline for you. Take a look at the life stories included in the Bible: Moses didn’t start his “career” until he was 80, Abraham didn’t have a son till he was 100. On the other end of the spectrum, Josiah became a king at 8 years old and Mary became a mother as a teen. Don’t throw your 20’s away, but don’t feel pressured to “get it all together” in the span of those ten years either. Life might feel like it’s moving too slowly or backwards, but if your character is becoming more like Jesus, rest assured that you’re headed in the right direction.
5. Live with the End in Mind
At the end of this age, we will all stand before God to give an account of how we spent our lives. He will not ask us how much money we made, whether we found a spouse, or how many countries we visited. He won’t ask us how many languages we learned or even whether we spent our time and energy doing “ministry.” He will, however, examine whether we have lived well by being lovingly attentive and obedient to his direction in our lives. The hard part is there’s no way of comparing your life with someone else’s. You alone can be faithful with your life.
I’m glad this TED talk is out there to encourage people to be more intentional about their lives, especially for those who think their 20’s don’t count. But here’s the bottom line: each day of your life matters, regardless of how old or young you are.
How are you making today count?
photo credit: chrisinplymouth via photopin cc