Our house is full of ducks. For some reason, everyone has gotten Allie a duck. She has two rubber ducks, one I picked up at Walmart and a limited edition duck my mom lined up for in Osaka, Japan. There’s a giant duck my brother won at an amusement park and a small stuffed duck my brother’s girlfriend bought in Singapore. And then she has a duck jacket, a duck finger puppet, a duck shaker, a duck bib and more.
One day I was playing with Allie and asked her, “Where’s duck-duck?” She looked at me for a second, as if she was trying to figure out what I was saying. Then she turned her head and crawled towards the stuffed duck. Allie picked it up, looked at me and said, “Eh?” (which was very Canadian of her).
I looked at her surprised. Did she just understand what I was saying?
“Very good!” I exclaimed happily.
She had never done this before, so I wasn’t sure if it was a fluke or not. I took the duck from her, and placed it beside her toy sheep and toy lion.
“Where’s duck-duck?” I asked her once more.
Again she looked at me for a second, then crawled over to the duck and picked it up to hand to me. Wow! She did it a second time. “Very good!” I said again smiling and clapping my hands. As I took the duck she was handing me, I realized how special this moment was.
She understands me.
My baby daughter understands me!
I paused to savour the feeling of satisfaction. I felt heard. I felt affirmed.
As I pondered our moment, I realized that deep in each one of us is a craving to be heard. For some reason we feel affirmed when we know that someone understands us. Perhaps it signifies that in a small way we have become known.
My daughter had given me a gift by showing that she understood me. And I realized that the ability to hear and understand others was a gift I could give.
I put the duck beside the sheep and lion again. “Where’s sheep?” I asked Allie. She picked up the duck and handed it to me. Oh. Maybe she didn’t understand me after all, I sighed with a bit of disappointment. Or maybe it was because I’d forgotten to use universal baby-talk and repeat the word twice. I should have said sheep-sheep…
Over the next few days, Allie started showing that she understood the word “duck” quite well. Then she showed signs of understanding lion and kangaroo. It’s been fun, slowly teaching Allie new words.
What were the first words your baby started to understand? Leave your answer in the comments.
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