The Roman Catholic Church as a new pope. The former Cardinal from Argentina was elected to lead the world’s 1.2 billion Catholics this afternoon, and has chosen the new name of Pope Francis. While reading the news articles, I wondered if the qualities of a new pope were similar to the qualities you would look for in a person to date or marry.
According to a report by NBC News, Edward Egan, the Archbishop Emeritus of New York, spoke shortly before the new pope was announced. Egan said the new pope needed the five qualities listed below. I believe these five qualities also give some insight into what you might look for in a future spouse.
1) “A Man of Prayer, who loves leading public prayer and privately prays with joy and fulfillment”
If you a person that values spirituality, then you would look for a person who is prayerful. But even if you are not a spiritual person, you may still want to look for a person that values quiet and reflection. A person that reflects regularly has taken time to consider the larger questions of life, including what they want in life, what they value, and what they hope for in a relationship. A person that has gained clarity and direction in their life will be able to help guide a relationship forward with direction and clarity.
2) “A Man who repeats the Gospel Message in an Uncomplicated Manner”
One way to explain the gospel message is that it is a way of believing and living. If you are a Catholic or Christian, than the gospel message is at the center of your faith. Being able to articulate the gospel message in a simple manner means that this person understands what their faith means. To a non-Catholic or non-Christian, the equivalent of the gospel message would be a person’s worldview. Wikipedia says that a worldview “refers to the framework of ideas and beliefs through which an individual, group or culture interprets the world and interacts with it.”
In marriage, one of the most challenging aspects is making decisions together. If your spouse knows their own worldview and can explain it to you in a simple way, then you will be able to better understand them and the way that they make decisions.
3) “A Leader who will lead on the Great Questions of the Day”
I’m on the fence on this quality, in terms of having a benefit for a dating relationship or a marriage. On one hand, it would be helpful to be with a person that understands the challenges of the current times. On the other hand, probably not all the “great questions of the day” are relevant for a relationship.
4) “Know How to Govern”
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines govern as “to control, direct, or strongly influence the actions and conduct of.” Though you might not necessarily think that having a spouse that can “govern” you is a good idea, I think it depends on what. It’s a reality that when you spend time with a person that they will influence you. You just hope that it is their good qualities and habits that end up influencing you (and not their bad qualities and habits). One thing I have appreciated about our marriage is that my wife has been able to “govern” or influence me in ways that have made me a better person.
One other aspect of this to consider is if you are planning to have children. To be able to control, direct, or strongly influence, is a good skill to have as a parent.
5) “A Person who can handle criticism with calm and with total trust in God”
A person that can handle criticism calmly and well is a person that has not placed their value in what others think of them. I believe this is very important, because it means that this person will not be relying on what you (or anyone else) to give them their worth. They already know that they are important and valued, which allows them to take criticism and use it for their own good. When a person gets defensive when criticized, it makes it difficult to deepen the relationship with that person.
These are just some of my thoughts on the topic. I wish the new Pope Francis much wisdom and strength and he takes on his new role of leadership in making the world a better place, not just for Catholics, but for everyone. (Also, Olive has written her thoughts on choosing the right person to marry, which is one of the most popular posts on our blog.)
Do you think any of the necessary qualities for a new pope also apply to choosing a spouse?
photo credit: Aibdescalzo
