As I write this, I’m 37 weeks along with my second child. There have been similarities between the two pregnancies, but also differences. I thought it would be fun to do a little comparison post here, in case anyone is interested, but also for the sake of my second kid who’s barely gotten any “airtime,” unlike big sister who got a gazillion blog posts while she was in the womb. Hah.
Physically
With my first, there were a handful of occasions where I was nauseated enough to actually puke and a general sense of discomfort for the first trimester. With my second, I’ve barely felt any nausea at all. The trade-off is that the pain in my hips started way earlier this time (around the 20 week mark) and my ligaments are so loose that I can literally feel my bones popping back into place when I sit up in my bed in the mornings. I found a chiropractor who specializes in pre/post-natal care so that has helped relieve some of the pain. The adjustment to slowly ballooning has been easier this time and I haven’t struggled as much with feeling fat. It’s just felt like my belly showed a lot sooner the second time around but I think I’m measuring smaller. Oh, and Braxton Hicks contractions started way sooner too. Thankfully, my midwife explained to me that it’s just the uterus doing its thing as a muscle and not to worry about it.
With my first, I had a pretty regular pre-natal yoga routine throughout the whole pregnancy. With this one, I’ve managed to do it less than ten times. It’s not really as relaxing when you have a two-year-old crawling between your legs because she thinks you’re a “bridge.”
Overall, I’m more tired this time around – partly because I have a toddler to take care of already. With my first, I never got sick. This time, I’ve battled three colds. Oh, and Starbucks has never been more appealing.
Emotionally
It’s interesting because I think my fears with this second pregnancy are shaped and informed by my experience with the first. Overall, I’m more relaxed. I’m less stringent about things like eating soft-cooked eggs now and then, sleeping whichever way feels most comfortable and not needing to make sure I have everything-under-the-sun that I might possibly need for the baby. I also haven’t been as strict about not lifting anything heavy. After all, my 27 lb toddler still needs her mama every once in a while.
Most of my fears this time have to do with how this birth will unfold because the last time, I felt lost in the hospital system and rushed along in the birth process when in retrospect, I could have given my body more time to do its thing. I made sure to find a midwife this time so I’m hoping this birth experience will be more positive. The other main concern I’ve had has been deciding whether to have my toddler present for the birth of her sibling and who will take care of her during that time. A lot of my time and attention has gone into preparing my toddler for the transition of having a baby in the house.
My other fear has been about breastfeeding. It was a rough go with my first and I ended up pumping for a year for her. (It did turn out for good though as I was able to donate about 50L of milk to babies who needed it.) I’m unsure of how much I want to go through the process of learning to breastfeed again. Even now, I’m playing it by ear and seeing how this second baby is.
Mentally
I have definitely felt more “mommy brained” with this pregnancy. I’ve completely missed appointments and generally had more trouble staying on top of things. I’ve even forgotten that I’m pregnant. Pregnancy insomnia is more frequent this time around as well. I’ve told Tim on more than one occasion that the closer we get to the due date, the worse of an employee I’m becoming. It’s just hard for me to focus.
I know some people struggle with whether they’ll be able to love another child as much as their first. I think for me, I’m more like, “I get to love another one of these little people?!” I think it helps that my daughter is 2.5 years old now and getting pretty independent. I had originally thought that I wanted two kids within two years, but I’m recognizing the grace and wisdom of God to let me wait that extra half a year.
The other hurdle I’ve had to face is wrapping my brain around the concept of siblings. As an only child, I haven’t had the experience of growing up with siblings so I have had to read up on what to expect in this regard. I’m thankful that at least Tim has siblings so I can ask him for perspective.
One thing I’ve been pleasantly surprised by is that having a toddler has meant that I’ve experienced the wonder of pregnancy through her eyes. As we’ve read books about how babies grow and the birth process, my appreciation and wonder for life has been renewed. I think having my daughter around has made this pregnancy more fun, actually.
In this final month before we become a family of four, I’m finding myself pausing more during the day to soak in the one-on-one time I have with my toddler. I’m also relishing the silence and relative calm, knowing that I will soon enter the chaos and fog that is newborn-land. There’ll be more challenges along with more joy and I’m grateful to have a chance to do it all again.