“What I Learned” is a guest post series of lessons learned in relationships that matter the most (you can send us your story too). This guest post is by our friend Vincent Ng. [Note: Although Olive and I have never considered a common law relationship for ourselves, we know more people are choosing this option (the 2011 census shows 17% of Canadian families are common-law couples). We decided to publish this post because we value and seek to learn from other perspectives about marriage and relationships, and hope this will generate helpful discussion.]
On March 28th, 2013 the government of British Columbia, Canada made some new changes to the Family Law Act that affects common law relationships in our beautiful province. Contrary to popular myth, common law relationships are not dictated by the federal government and are determined on a provincial level.
Couples who have lived together for at least two years, or have a child together, are now required to divide assets and debts that were accumulated during the relationship 50/50 if they break-up, just like a legally married couple. This law is always retroactive and can be applied to couples who were common law up to two years ago. This means if you lived with someone back in 2011, and stayed together for two years, you are now legally entitled to 50% of his or her assets during the time you were together.
I Don’t Want to Rush Into Marriage
I truly believe that couples need to take time to get to know each other, and for some, it means moving in and living together. But this law may unnecessarily push couples to get married earlier than they should, leading to even a higher divorce rate in society. Or it can do the opposite and force couples to separate prematurely before truly deciding that they should be married to each other. Some couples need more than two years to decide if someone is the right partner for them, it’s just that simple.
It scares me because I feel this new law is making couples potentially rush decisions. It changes how couples in B.C. will make decisions regarding their relationships because of finances.
Money and Finances
There are two sides to the 50/50 rule: debt and assets. Let’s look at debt in a hypothetical situation. Let’s say a student is 24 years old and he’s dating a young woman who is 20. They’ve lived near the University of British Columbia for two years now.
Two years have passed, and she now has a whopping student loan to pay off. He’s paid off a good chunk of his student loan in those two years, but now she decides that it’s time to separate. Should he be responsible for 50% of her student loan debt since it was technically accrued while they were in a relationship together?
What if the break up was bad and she wants to do go through the law to take full advantage of their relationship? I’m sure we’ve all heard horror break up stories.
And while letters are being drafted up by lawyers about common law relationships and agreements (similar to pre-nuptials), do you think a 24 year old man or a 20 year old woman is really going to be thinking about that?
How this Affects Me Personally
I’m at a later stage in life and the truth is for me, being able to live with someone before getting married is an appealing idea on several fronts.
Generally living together is more economical, it’s easier to rent a bigger place, saves on food costs, and so forth. Let’s be honest, Vancouver is an expensive city. And then there’s the companionship. When you love someone, you want to spend your time with them, but you just might not be ready to get married.
But in the back of my mind there’s that nagging voice that asks me, do I really want to live with someone if there’s a potential to lose my assets or take on her debt? Quite frankly I don’t want to have to sign a contract with every woman I may move in with.
For me, I have to give it some serious thought about how soon I want live with a woman or not and how serious I am about being with her. The amount of debt she carries into a relationship will now play a heavier role in deciding if I want to have someone as a common law. And I would expect it would be a factor for her as well.
I think two years is too short of a time to be considered common law. Some other provinces allow three, which I think is a good time frame. If you’re like me and you don’t particularly like this part of the Family Act then I would highly encourage you to write to your MLA and just let him or her know how you feel.
What are your thoughts? What do you see as some of the pros and cons of entering a common-law relationship?
About the Author:
Vincent Ng is the president of MCNG Marketing, a boutique marketing agency in Vancouver, B.C. He loves digital and creative marketing and often spends his time on Pinterest posting advertisements. He is currently seeing a wonderful woman whom he enjoys cooking and watching movies with, and has lived in Vancouver his whole life. He has a wonderful adorable baby niece who seems to get fussy when his uncle holds her.
photo credit: sicoactiva via photopin cc