Defining Decisions – 20 Life-shaping Choices I made in my 20s

tim chan —  November 22, 2011 — 1 Comment

Olive and I were thinking that it would be very meaningful, in our 30th years of life, to write a book together outlining the major choices we’ve made in our 20s and how it has shaped our lives. Now nearing the end of my 30th year I realize the goal of writing a book was a bit too much, so we’ve decided to write some blog posts instead. Olive has started writing about her choices in her blog series “Finding my Voice: A look back at the Defining Decisions of my Twenties“.

20defining decisionsHere are my top 20 Life-shaping choices I made in my 20s. In November I took a poll from our readers to see which choices they would like to read about the most. The idea is for me to start writing about the ones people are most interested in. Here are the results, and the links to the decisions I’ve written about so far. I will be continuing to write this series through this year.

1. Embrace my Depression [realizing the gifts that depression brings] – 26 votes (Part 1 and Part 2)
2. Learn My Boss’ Job [how to spend my time at work]
3. Decide the one things I will die for [how to find passion in life] – 17 votes
4. See a Counselor to discuss depression, pornography and other things – 13 votes
5. Take responsibility of my spiritual growth [stop relying on my church for my growth] – 13 votes
6. Create a 5-year plan for my life – 13 votes
7. Go into marriage trusting God more than trusting Olive or myself – 13 votes
8. Find my calling in life [taking Sabbaticals to find my purpose in life] – 12 votes
9. Ask myself the right question [from “what should I do?’ to “who should I become?” to “who am I?”] – 12 votes
10. Spend time with people who are going somewhere in life – 12 votes
11. Learn to tell good stories and ask good questions – 12 votes
12. Define my goal for dating: Dating for clarity vs Dating for marriage – 10 votes
13. Decide my family will be my friends – 10 votes
14. Use words to give others courage [what I learned from Ken Shigematsu] – 9 votes
15. Think Bigger [what I learned from working with Leonard Buhler] – 9 votes
16. Incorporate Rest and Solitude into my life – 9 votes
17. Listen and understand before making suggestions – 7 votes
18. Find mentors, friends, and people to mentor – 7 votes
19. Live with margin in my life – 7 votes
20. Look for Convergence in my life [living an integrated life] – 6 votes

What defining decisions did you make in your 20s? 

  • Vitaly

    Interesting point of life-shaping choices. It made me think about my choices. On one hand I did make a lot of life-changing decisions: moving to Canada, leaving Toronto for Vancouver etc. On the other hand each decision was based on multitude of circumstances, personality traits etc and if to remove some of them, then I belive that the flow of the remaining factors would move me to exactly the same point where I am now. And if to change many factors then it just wouldn’t be me.

    If you are given a job offer with ten times higher salary, it’s no-brainer to accept it. That’s how I moved to Canada. Many other decisions I made were kind of similar “no-brainers”.