Archives For choices

No, I’m not Jesus. But I am practicing resurrection. Before I explain, let me give you a bit of backstory.

About a month ago, I had the fortune of attending a one-day retreat facilitated by a former professor of mine. It was the first time I was away from Kayla (who was almost 8 months old) and I was nervous about how she would do. I knew, however, that I needed to go to this retreat because my soul was in desperate need of care. Kayla did great. And I was refreshed and inspired.
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Why I Chose a Home Birth

olive chan —  March 9, 2015 — 6 Comments

Choosing a home birth was not an easy decision, but I’m glad we gave it a try.

“Redemption” is probably not the first word that comes to mind when you think about childbirth. But for me, it was. The moment I realized I was pregnant with our second child, I wanted redemption. My experience of birthing my first baby was pretty tame as far as birth stories go, but there were elements that made it a traumatic experience for me.

I gave birth to my first baby in a hospital and I came out of that experience feeling unheard, disempowered and simply run through the system. I wanted to do it differently the second time. I wanted to actually experience birthing my child the way I was built for it.
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Earlier this year, Tim wrote a piece about looking for the wrong person to marry. “Thanks for writing this,” responded some readers, “now I know who NOT to look for. But I’m still left with the question, who DO I look for??” It’s a great question.

“You just know,” is probably the most unhelpful answer of all time. But if you took a poll of married people on how they knew they wanted to marry their spouse, that is a common answer you might get. Maybe if you were a very intuitive decision maker, you would just know (and if that’s the case, this article is not for you). But for the rest of us, although I don’t have all the answers, here are some factors that might be helpful when considering whether the person you’re dating is someone you’d want to marry. Continue Reading…

Olive and I were thinking that it would be very meaningful, in our 30th years of life, to write a book together outlining the major choices we’ve made in our 20s and how it has shaped our lives. Now nearing the end of my 30th year I realize the goal of writing a book was a bit too much, so we’ve decided to write some blog posts instead. Olive has started writing about her choices in her blog series “Finding my Voice: A look back at the Defining Decisions of my Twenties“.

20defining decisionsHere are my top 20 Life-shaping choices I made in my 20s. In November I took a poll from our readers to see which choices they would like to read about the most. The idea is for me to start writing about the ones people are most interested in. Here are the results, and the links to the decisions I’ve written about so far. I will be continuing to write this series through this year.

1. Embrace my Depression [realizing the gifts that depression brings] – 26 votes (Part 1 and Part 2)
2. Learn My Boss’ Job [how to spend my time at work]
3. Decide the one things I will die for [how to find passion in life] – 17 votes
4. See a Counselor to discuss depression, pornography and other things – 13 votes
5. Take responsibility of my spiritual growth [stop relying on my church for my growth] – 13 votes
6. Create a 5-year plan for my life – 13 votes
7. Go into marriage trusting God more than trusting Olive or myself – 13 votes
8. Find my calling in life [taking Sabbaticals to find my purpose in life] – 12 votes
9. Ask myself the right question [from “what should I do?’ to “who should I become?” to “who am I?”] – 12 votes
10. Spend time with people who are going somewhere in life – 12 votes
11. Learn to tell good stories and ask good questions – 12 votes
12. Define my goal for dating: Dating for clarity vs Dating for marriage – 10 votes
13. Decide my family will be my friends – 10 votes
14. Use words to give others courage [what I learned from Ken Shigematsu] – 9 votes
15. Think Bigger [what I learned from working with Leonard Buhler] – 9 votes
16. Incorporate Rest and Solitude into my life – 9 votes
17. Listen and understand before making suggestions – 7 votes
18. Find mentors, friends, and people to mentor – 7 votes
19. Live with margin in my life – 7 votes
20. Look for Convergence in my life [living an integrated life] – 6 votes

What defining decisions did you make in your 20s? 

[Finding My Voice is a series of blog posts on key decisions I made in my 20s.]

Defining decision: as much as possible, choose love over fear
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