Tim and Olive's Blog

Once in a while, when I flip back and re-read past journal entries, I come across some gems. Tonight was one of those moments and I couldn’t help but post this excerpt. Enjoy.

I used to think that sin wrecked us. But now I see that even sin, though ugly and horrible, did and does not have the power to destroy the inherent noble qualities of God in us. So it is appropriate to pray that HE increase and I decrease in the sense that my sin has less and less of a hold on my life. But the role of the Holy Spirit does not manifest Christ in our lives at the expense of our uniqueness as children of the King. Instead, the way He becomes greater is to enable us to fully live out His vision for us.

I used to think that Christ is the only valuable part of me. But if I was not valuable without Christ, He would not have died for me. Now that I have Christ, I am not more valuable, but I can truly live out my value and no longer be concerned about proving it.

Just for fun, I’m taking a six-class course in introductory belly dancing. This past Thursday, as I stood there with about a dozen other women, I was suddenly aware of the presence in Christ with me in that room. And the thought came to my head, “Jesus is here belly dancing with me!” It made me chuckle.

I don’t watch TV often, but the other night, I caught an interesting show called The Secret Millionaire. Over the course of an hour (with too many commercials for it to feel like a worthwhile use of my time), the show followed a wealthy businessman and his son as they left their cushy lives and lived on a welfare allowance among the poor for a week. Their goal was to find out who needed it the most and give away at least $100,000 of their own money.

After it was over, it occurred to me that I had just watched a short term mission trip of sorts. And then I realized, that’s a scaled down version of what Jesus did. He left His life of security and glory in order to know what it was like to live among the poor. But He gave away much more than money. He gave us His life.

I realized recently that many in my community of friends are weary jet setters who are so used to the transient life that they are having a hard time “landing.” In one humourous conversation with two of my friends who’d just returned to Canada, one of them said she had a hard time grasping the idea that she had just signed up for a 3 year phone contract. My other friend piped in and said, “Yeah, I just signed a four year car lease!” I looked at both of them and said, “I know. I just got married.”

Last night, Tim and I watched The Devil Wears Prada. I see similarities between myself and Andy, the main character who cared nothing about fashion yet found herself working for one of the biggest personalities in the fashion industry.

I have a husband, a home and a secure place of work. And I live in a beautiful city with many good friends. While many people I know have asked for this kind of life, I never did. I honestly wasn’t chasing after this life. Sure, deep down I longed for it. But I was expecting something completely opposite to this, actually. Just over two short years ago, I was gearing up for a future of singleness, moving around and much transition. And I thought I would be living in pollution central.

God has a funny way of interrupting my plans. I realize that I often expect the worst of Him. As if it wouldn’t be right if He gave me a life that met my needs. As if I should only think that the hardest path for me to take would be the one He would pick out for me. I subscribe too much to the “deny myself” camp without really believing that Jesus loves me.

I forget His grace.

What puzzles me is why someone like me who wasn’t even looking for these things, gets them, while so many others keep wishing.

The answer to that, I suppose, is also His grace.

I don’t know if anyone is even reading this blog anymore. My posts have been very slow as of late. The interesting thing is, it doesn’t concern me anymore whether anyone reads.

Now that my wedding is over and I’m relatively settled, I want to write again. I miss my times of thinking and gaining new insights.

I’m longing for a new rhythm for my days. I feel like I’ve been living on the surface for too long and I want to go deep again.

The reason the vine and its branches are such a true parable of the Christian life is that all nature has one source and breathes one air. The plant world was created to be to man an object lesson teaching him his entire dependence upon God and his security in that dependence. He who clothes the lilies will much more clothe us. He who gives the trees and the vines their beauty and their fruits, making each what He meant it to be, will much more certainly make us what He would have us be. The only difference is that what God works in the trees is by a power of which they are not conscious. He wants to work in us with our consent. This is the nobility of man, that he has a will that can cooperate with God in understanding an approving and accepting what He offers to do.
~Andrew Murray, The True Vine

I’m amazed at the grace God extends to me.

I had been wanting to meet up with someone today – no person in particular, just any friend – but my attempts in contacting my friends weren’t successful. I didn’t even want to talk to God about it because I felt like He’d already given me so much and I’d just be like a whiny kid pestering Him. So I resigned myself to a day at home by myself. Then I get a call this afternoon from a friend who happened to take the wrong bus and stopped right downstairs of my place. Of course, I invited her up and we had a good time reconnecting. I told her about how she was an answer to an unspoken prayer.

Which reminds me, another unspoken prayer that God seems to have answered is connecting us with a wedding photographer in Vancouver. We’re meeting on Friday – so we’ll see how that goes!

It seems like there are all these needs and wants I have on my heart that God’s beat me to. It feels a little weird – as if He can read my mind… oh wait, He can.

Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
~Psalm 139:4~

I woke up this morning with a feeling of anxiety. Actually, back track a little: I went to sleep last night worried. And when I woke up, I carried a huge weight of responsibility for certain things I hoped would happen today (but really weren’t in my control).

As I chatted with the Lord, the conversation went something like this:

Jesus: Olive, what are you wearing?
Me: Worry.
Jesus: Who dressed you this morning?
Me: Um, I did.

I paused and looked down at myself. I suddenly saw how ugly and unflattering that garment was.

“Hmm,” I said, “I think Your sense of fashion is a lot better than mine. Why don’t you choose something for me to wear today?”

And with a twinkle in His eye, He smiled, “I’d be delighted to.”

Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love.
~Colossians 3:12, 14~

[This is an exerpt written by Robert Currie in the March 2001 Focus on the Family magazine]

“A young girl explains the world to her newborn brother.

I’m your 5-year-old sister, Lori, and you’re my baby brother, Alex. Since you’re only 2 weeks old, I’m going to ‘splain life, ’cause it’s not easy for you. I know. I was young once, too.

Grown-ups can’t make up their minds. First they want one thing and then another. I know what I want. I want a cookie, but Mommy said, “No, how about a banana?” She said a cookie will ruin my appetite for supper. I don’t want supper. Supper ruins my appetite for a cookie. And I don’t want a banana. I want a cookie.

You see, grown-ups are always trying to get us to do stuf we don’t want to do. If there’s a TV show I want to watch, Mommy tries to get me to color or play a game. By the time I get to be a grown-up, I won’t know what I want anymore.

But kids know what they want. Do we want to go to bed? No. Do we want a cookie? Yes. When was the last time somebody asked kids if they wanted to do something and the kids said, “We don’t know”?

I kinda feel sorry for Mommy and Daddy. They can’t help it. They’re grown-ups. They can’t decide whether to leave the toilet seat up or down. Daddy wants it up. Mommy wants it down. They were talking real loud about it today. I asked them why they were arguing. Daddy said they weren’t arguing. He said they were discussing. After they were done, I snuck in the bathroom. I put the toilet seat back up so I could hear them discuss it again.

Mommy can’t decide what to fix for dinner. I told her to fix cookies. She said no. In the morning, she can’t decide what to wear. Daddy asked her what she want to do Saturday. She said she doesn’t know.

Daddy is just as bad. Each night he grows whiskers, but in the morning he changes his mind and shaves them off. Then he sits in his chair with his ‘mote control and changes channels all the time. Daddy’s been a grown-up for too long; he doesn’t know what to watch. I bet when he was a kid he wanted a cookie real bad but his parents made him eat different foods like bananas and stuff.

He doesn’t even know which job he should do. He is thinking about changing jobs, but it’s hard for him to decide. So Daddy listened to a tape. The man on the tape said people who are ‘cessful figure out what they want and go after it. In that case, I’m going to be real ‘cessful, ’cause I really want a cookie.

When the tape was over, Mommy was nice. She talked real sweet to Daddy and asked him which job he really wanted. Daddy was sad. He shook his head and said he didn’t know. So Mommy hugged him. I hugged him, too, and I gave him a cookie.”

And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
~Matthew 18:3~

photo credit: John Flinchbaugh via photo pin cc