Tim and Olive's Blog

did i ever tell you you’re my hero?
…i could fly higher than an eagle
‘cuz you are the wind beneath my wings

walking back to my res at 1 or 2am has allowed me to catch a glimpse of what really goes on in the university when everyone’s gone. there’s an army of people who clean the school every night into the wee hours of the morning. they sweep up the garbage, clear the garbage cans, clean the bathrooms and they even have a zambonie-like machine that polishes up the floors. these are the behind-the-scenes people. they rarely get credit (if any at all) yet they’re so vital to the success of the school.

thinking about my life, i realize i have plenty of those people, too. every little project i take on, every ministry i invest in, i only accomplish it with the support of numerous people. take chairing my school fellowship, for example. in times like these, when i’m swamped with schoolwork, the committee members step up and see that things get done. my parents graciously open up our house for planning meetings. and my friends at church don’t take offense when i hardly show my face there.

there’s a saying that no man is an island. and i guess i’m beginning to learn that truth. everything i do has an effect on the people around me, whether i’m aware of it or not. that’s a pretty crazy thought.

TESTIFY

[v. intr.] To make a statement based on personal knowledge in support of an asserted fact; bear witness.

while i was giving my testimony to the tc senior worship team yesterday, i came to the realization that despite being stretched and pushed to the limits, i’m actually enjoying my life(!). it’s as if, on the surface, i have much to do – too much, for my liking – but underneath, there’s this current of joy and power that comes from knowing that i am walking with God. (note: the way i see myself at this moment, i am not walking my own path, i have found where God is walking and i’ve just joined Him in His work – altho, sometimes, i know i go on my own and He walks with me but that’s not the case this time.) i know this excitement is given to me by the grace of God, but i also know that i had to let go of my own inhibitions and release my tight grasp of my own life before i could experience this. letting God lead is risky and scary. and to the world, it doesn’t make sense. but wow, is it ever incredible to live in His reality.

anywho, i’m completely thankful for where i’m at this moment, ‘cuz i know it’s a rollercoaster ride and the next turn could be downward.

thanks, for this gift, Daddy. :>

UNREASONABLE

When we do anything from a sense of duty, we can back it up by argument; when we do anything in obedience to the Lord, there is no argument possible; that is why a saint can be easily ridiculed.
–Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

how else do you explain witnessing to a stranger who asks for help over icq at 3 in the morning?

GRATITUDE

i know this isn’t the first time i’ve used this as a blog title. but this is the title to the song by Nichole Nordeman. i think the lyrics are very fitting to our situation today.

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
‘Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You’ll provide in other ways
And if that’s the case…

But Jesus, would You please…

JAR OF CLAY

i feel like i’m being pushed to the limit – mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. like waiting for the second wind to get me through these next five weeks. it amazes me how much i need to will myself to have faith. it’s so easy to fall into despair and think i can’t do this. i have to keep telling myself that i must believe that God will carry me though, that He is strong enough, that i was created to be used by God. it’s a battle of the will. (for those of you who’ve seen the movie Hero, it’s like the fighting that goes on in the mind between the warriors.)

still, i will say that GOD IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is. ’nuff said.

CHILD IN ME

just when i thought i was getting old and jaded, i caught a glimpse of the little child running around in me tonight.

since my parents were out for a meeting, i thought i’d be a good kid and clear the driveway for them. they bought a new snowblower and i’d never used it, but i reasoned, if my mom can use it, i could probably figure it out. so i put on my dad’s big down parka (complete with the fur trimmed hood), ski gloves and boots and set to work. getting the engine to start was relatively easy since the instructions were on the machine, but getting it to blow the snow was another matter. after a couple tries, i resorted to using the shovel. of course, if you’ve ever seen my house, we have a really big driveway that can fit like eight cars, so after shovelling the space of maybe one car, i got tired. putting down the shovel, i looked at the snowblower again and realized my previous mistake. so i tried starting it up again. but this time, i must have tried at least 20 times before the engine fired. i finally got the thing to work, and i cleared a path wide enough for a car to get into the garage when it suddenly died on me again. and restarting it just was not happening. so in the end, after an hour of labour and two knots in my back, i had a rather amusing path that went from the street to the garage door – just wide enough for one car; half blown by machine and half hand shovelled.

looking at my work, i saw that it was rather pathetic, but it was also something i was quite proud of. i felt very much like a little child, who’d tried something beyond her capabilities in order to impress and please her daddy (sorta like the three-year-old, trying to make “breakfast-in-bed” but spilling the milk and dropping all the eggs in the process). and i realized that in my life, i do that every day. i throw my energy into projects and people, hoping to touch the heart of my Daddy – even though i know what i offer is so sloppy and haphazard. all to gain a smile at the end of the day.

on a side note, after i put the machine and shovel away, i found a nice empty patch of snow, lay down, and made a delightful snow angel. :>

INSPIRATION[the following two posts are one entry, blogger seems to think my posts are too long. i think it has something to do with being on the school network. so please read both. :>]

let me tell you about an incredibly inspiring woman. her name is Lotte. she works full time at the International Christian Centre (a soup kitchen @ Queen and Spadina). she’s originally from the phillipines and God has touched her life in many miraculous ways. last night, i got to hear more of her story. usually, when our fellowship goes to help the first wednesday of each month, she’s there, cooking something. and last night, i found out that she cooks both monday AND wednesday nights. and since the centre has a boarding room upstairs, she also cooks for the early meal that that boarders eat. so she cooks the 5pm supper, cleans, prepares for the 7:30pm supper and cleans the pots and pans. after the patrons leave, she tidies up the place, sweeps and mops the floor before she finally goes home at about midnight. on top of that, every monday night, she leads worship! the other evenings in the week, she’s there to take care of the place as other church groups come to serve dinner. but the churches usually only serve pasta, soup or sandwhiches. nothing like the chicken dinners she takes the time to make.

recently, i’ve had a couple people comment to me that i’m an inspiration to them because of all the stuff i do, but i look at Lotte and i know that she’s a real inspiration. ‘cuz there’s a woman who is on the front lines, serving the poor and the homeless day in, day out. and once a week, she has to be cook, janitor and worship leader all in one night. and through all this, she still keeps the joy of Jesus in her heart. what she does isn’t appreciated much – more often than not, she has to deal with complaints and strange food requests. yet she’s been doing this for more than ten years.

after spending the night serving with her, i’ve been so humbled. and i’m motivated to pray for her and her ministry even more. now, when i look at all i have to do in the next little while, i’ll just think of Lotte and be encouraged. [on a side note: if anyone is in the Toronto area and is willing to spare 3 hours on a monday night (even once a month) to give Lotte a hand with cooking, cleaning or worship leading, please let me know. trust me, it’s so worth it. it’ll change your perspective on life and deepen your walk with God.]

GIFTS FOR ALL PEOPLE

this weekend, i brought gifts for each person who went to retreat. a reminder of God’s love for us on Valentine’s day. what was interesting was the responses i garnered. some people laughed because they didn’t understand it. some people were touched by it. others didn’t want to open it until they got home so they tucked it away for safekeeping. some sort of left theirs lying around until the last day, when they stuffed it in with the rest of their luggage. and still others unknowingly left theirs behind.

many times, these are the ways we treat God’s gifts to us. be they people, time, resources, whatever. sometimes, we cruelly scorn the gift because we just don’t understand its value. sometimes, we fully appreciate it and are truly thankful. sometimes, we keep the gifts to ourselves. yet other times, we’re too concerned about other things, like our responsibilites or having fun, so we don’t give it a second thought. and sometimes, we miss the fact that we got a gift altogether.

i pray that as God’s children, we will learn to see His goodness in everything that comes our way. starting with the air we breathe.

JUSTIFIED FOR EVERMORE
~a poem by John Piper

As far as any eye could see
There was no green. But every tree
Was cinder black, and all the ground
Was gray with ash. The only sound
Was arid wind, like spirits’ ghosts,
Gasping for some living hosts
In which to dwell, as in the days
Of evil men, before the blaze
Of unimaginable fire
Had made the earth a flaming pyre
For God’s omnipotent display
Of holy rage.

O, God of wonder, God of might,
Grant us some elevated sight,
Of endless days. And let us see
The joy of what is yet to be.
And may your future make us free,
And guard us by the hope that we,
Through grace on lands that you restore,
Are justified for evermore.