10 Things Learned in 10 Years of Marriage

Ten years of marriage feels like both a long and a short time. As we prepared to celebrate our first decade of marriage today, we sat down to reflect on some of the lessons we’ve learned along the way. While this isn’t an exhaustive list, it summarizes some of the main things we have learned.

We realize that our readers come from various places in life – some are married, some unmarried, some are struggling with their marriages, some are divorced or separated. Our intention for sharing is to give a glimpse into our relationship and hopefully bring encouragement or invite pondering. We recognize that the marriage we have can only be described as an unmerited gift – an act of grace in our lives. We are fortunate to have supportive family and friends around us and are grateful for their roles in shaping us as individuals so that we could have the marriage that we do.

Three years ago, we wrote 7 Things Learned in 7 Years of Marriage. This year, we’ve created a new list with 10 Things Learned in 10 Years of Marriage:
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Lent Photo-a-Day 2018

Lent is the 40 days between Ash Wednesday and Holy Saturday (not including Sundays). Traditionally, it is a season for fasting and repentance, a season of soul-examination drawing from Jesus’ experience in the wilderness. This year, Lent starts on Wednesday, February 14 and lasts until Saturday, March 31.

For the past two Lenten seasons, I have adopted the practice of reflecting on a word prompt and taking a photo as an expression of that day’s reflections (I have also done this for Advent, in preparation for Christmas). I began this practice at a time in my life when I felt like I was living in a wilderness and it felt more do-able and life-giving than abstaining from or giving up something. While this Lenten practice is not “giving up” anything per se, it does require intentional focus and going deeper – a setting aside of shallower thoughts and mindless ways. 40 days is a long period and usually by some point in the middle, I start feeling the “discipline” aspect. It’s very tempting to give up and let it slide. I welcome this as a reminder of my frailty and my need for God to sustain me through each day all the way until Easter.

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Our Word for 2018: WONDER

Every January, we set aside a day to assess where we’re at and plan for the year ahead. We call it our “Blue Day” (a more detailed description of it can be found in our free e-book, Fight With Me). We always begin our Blue Day with a bit of silence and solitude, out of which usually arises a word that becomes our theme for the year. For 2018, our word is WONDER.
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Advent Photo-a-Day 2017

Advent is a season observed by many Christians as a time of preparation and expectant waiting for the celebration of Jesus’ birth. The term comes from the Latin word adventus, which means “coming.” For the last two years, every Advent season, I have followed a list of photo prompts to help me reflect and prepare for Christmas. Many people like to go through a set of readings during Advent but at this stage of life for me, it feels a bit daunting to find time to sit, read, and reflect every day. Having one word to contemplate throughout the day and looking for an image to capture that word allows me to practice Advent in a simple, accessible, and integrated way that flows with the rhythms of my life. This year, I am planning on also involving our daughters in this practice – something I’m really excited about.

The practice of taking one photo a day throughout Advent has enabled me to live with eyes wide open, in both a physical and spiritual sense. In the midst of the hubbub of December, it has allowed me to slow down and be attentive to my life. It has been such a rich practice that I wanted to continue it this Advent. I wasn’t able to find any list of prompts online this year so I created my own.


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7 Tips and 11 Books for Navigating the Toddler Years

“What are the toddler years like? I’ve heard they’re really challenging.” I was recently asked this question. My response was that yes, they are challenging, but there are resources and ways of thinking about this season that can empower you as you navigate it. As I write this, we have an almost 6-year-old and a 3-year-old. So we’ve weathered one stormy toddlerhood and are currently in the midst of the second.
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Paying Attention to Crap: What Potty Training Revealed About Me

For a long time I hadn’t really understood what the big deal was about potty training. It was simple! At least it was for my first child. But when we were a month into training my second-born and still having regular accidents, I could see how potty training earned it’s reputation as “dreaded.”

As I reflected on this particular experience of potty training, I learned several things about myself. They weren’t new discoveries – more like patterns I’d already known about myself that surfaced in a new context.

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