Thoughts about singleness, relationships, dating, and marriage
Hi, my name is Tim and I struggle with depression. It’s hard to admit this and I haven’t always been able to write about my experiences with depression openly. But ever since becoming a husband, my relationship with my depression has changed for the better. These are some of my thoughts and reflections on being a husband and having depression.
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[This is a guest post I wrote for Hello Vancity]
I still remember setting the table with my heart pounding and palms sweaty, silently praying that my parents and their friends would genuinely like the food. I was in Grade 8. Making a meal from scratch and serving it to guests was my final project. My grade for Home Economics was dependent on their review. What exactly I served, I can’t recall anymore. I think there was a stew and some vegetables. Of course, my mom, being very proficient in the kitchen and known among her friends as a great cook, helped me put most of the dinner together. But she still bragged to all her friends that her 13-year-old cooked for her. She would half-jokingly remark that I could now do all the cooking for our family. The prospect of which was truly frightening.
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“So, are you going to change your last name?” I was asked this question again and again in the days leading up to my wedding. It was right up there with, “Have you found your dress?” People would find out I was engaged and for some reason, they would be interested to know if I was going to adopt the surname of my future husband. My answer was always, “Yes.”Read More
Long-distance dating is hard. And given a choice, most people would probably avoid it. But it’s also quite common. In this jet-setting age where people frequently travel for school or work, there’s a pretty good chance that at some point of the relationship, a couple will find themselves in separate cities. For some couples, the physical distance affects their relationship negatively and they eventually break up. For these people, their relationship can be described as, “out of sight, out of mind.” But for others, “distance makes the heart grow fonder,” and their relationship is strengthened during the time they are apart.Read More
Fight With Me: How We Learned to be Married is now available! In this first book we’ve written together, we give a fresh perspective of our first few years of marriage – the joys and the difficulties, the fights we had, the lessons we learned, and how we tried to make the most of that time.
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Today we are celebrating our 4th Wedding Anniversary. Compared to how we celebrated our past anniversaries, this year’s festivities are lame. (My wife, who is ever the optimist prefers to call it “low-key”.) It’s our first anniversary post-baby, and it was not very spectacular.
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Two years before my husband and I were married, I left to serve with a ministry for a year in South Africa. Young in our relationship, we hadn’t yet celebrated our birthdays together and planned a snowshoeing trip beneath the stars at Mount Seymour in lieu. In the weeks leading to this special faux birthday I listened carefully for his favourites.