10 Things Learned in 10 Years of Marriage

Ten years of marriage feels like both a long and a short time. As we prepared to celebrate our first decade of marriage today, we sat down to reflect on some of the lessons we’ve learned along the way. While this isn’t an exhaustive list, it summarizes some of the main things we have learned.

We realize that our readers come from various places in life – some are married, some unmarried, some are struggling with their marriages, some are divorced or separated. Our intention for sharing is to give a glimpse into our relationship and hopefully bring encouragement or invite pondering. We recognize that the marriage we have can only be described as an unmerited gift – an act of grace in our lives. We are fortunate to have supportive family and friends around us and are grateful for their roles in shaping us as individuals so that we could have the marriage that we do.

Three years ago, we wrote 7 Things Learned in 7 Years of Marriage. This year, we’ve created a new list with 10 Things Learned in 10 Years of Marriage:
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How to Avoid Fighting With Your Spouse

How to Avoid Fighting with Your Spouse

In our marriage, we do our best not to shy away from a good fight. Resolving conflict in a healthy manner is high on our priority list. But even better than a good fight is a fight that is avoided. I’m not talking about ignoring the conflict or sweeping things under the rug. I’m talking about bridging the differences before a conflict occurs. Fighting takes a lot of energy and time, so if we can save it up for something more fun, we’d much rather do that.Read More

fighting fair

How to Fight Fairly with Your Spouse (or anyone else)

When Tim proposed to me, he gave me a set of boxing gloves.  I remember opening up the gift and being quite shocked.  Was this his idea of being romantic?  Then I read the written note attached to them: “Our relationship has had its share of fights, challenges, and difficulties.  And we have and are continuing to learn how to work through these. The boxing gloves are for us to share.  One for you, one for me.  We will fight together.”  Suddenly, even a diamond ring could not have been more romantic!
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