“What I Learned” is a guest post series of readers telling their personal stories about lessons they have learned about relationships in hopes of helping us all grow and cherish the relationships that matter the most to us (you can send us your story too). This guest post is by Tiffany Chan (a.k.a. Tim’s favourite, and only sister). We are thrilled that she is a part of Allie’s life and that she’s such an excellent aunt.
The baby was crying. And this time it was because I was leaving. Not her mom. Not her dad. Me. Her aunt. I couldn’t help but get excited.
Allie with Auntie Tiff and Uncle Simon
It wasn’t always this way though. Not too long ago, I’d been frustrated because the baby always cried when her mom and dad weren’t around. Her parents would try to coax me into babysitting, saying it was to train me for my own future baby. In reality, to quote my best friend, “It’s awesome birth control.” I’m not sure I’d call it awesome, but it really made me rethink things when this little creature was screaming at the top of her lungs and I couldn’t do anything about it. NOTHING.
…Or was there?
Like any relationship, I’ve realized that it takes hard work but it can be done.
Here are 3 ways to win a baby’s heart:
1) Quality time – Every chance I get, I message my brother and sister-in-law: “Is Allie free to play?” It helps that they live really close by (upstairs, in fact).
2) Get down to their level. When I’m with my niece, I will completely forget that I’m a grown 27 year old adult and I transform into a little child. That means crawling on the floor after her, making silly noises and copying what she does. Once, during family dinner, my mother was mortified to find me under the dining room table, but hey, my niece thought it was hilarious.
3) Listen, listen, listen. Figure out their language and what they need and want. My niece loves new things, so I try to bring her new “toys” (a container, a magazine, a pack of tissues). My niece LOVES books. If she passes me a book, I read it. (Ok, one time I tried to run away after multiple readings of the same book, but she chased me with it and I conceded.) If she’s begging for the food I’m eating, I give her some. (Always check with parents first.) I ask her questions and listen to her answers – even when it’s incomprehensible babble.
Did it work? Well, I can now babysit without her crying for her parents. My knees are bruised up from crawling on the floor, I had to read Moo, Baa, La La La by Sandra Boynton 15 times and I constantly touch baby slobber (gross).
But when that cute creature who is my niece stares at me, calls me by her made up name for me and laughs, it was all worth it. All 11 months.
PS. Apparently, I’m the only one she calls by name… and that, to me, is better than a Ph.D.
About the Author:
Tiffany Chan is a Children’s Outreach Worker at Union Gospel Mission, loves her chicken wings, and plays tag for exercise. She and her husband Simon have been married for over 2 years and enjoy playing cribbage and Scramble together.