Tim and Olive's Blog

I find it hard to believe that I’m already at 18 weeks.  That’s almost the halfway mark of the entire pregnancy!  This week has left me definitely feeling like I’m in my second trimester.  I’m rarely nauseous (I can even brush my teeth with my regular toothpaste when I wake up), I’m constantly hungry/eating and my belly is becoming more pronounced.  It’s still not entirely obvious when I wear a sweater or jacket, but if I’m just in a t-shirt, you can tell it’s there.  And I suddenly have more energy to put into creative meals.  I’m still sleeping about 10 or 11 hours a day (plus naps here and there).  Overall, I’m just feeling better.  For which I’m thankful!

I read an inspiring book this past week.  It’s called “Sacred Parenting” by Gary Thomas.  Rather than a “how-to” book, it’s a “why” kind of book.  The author’s premise is that parenting can be a powerful and effective way for us as parents to shape our character.  From things like guilt and anger to celebrating life and keeping perspective, he explores how the various facets of parenting can be used by God in our maturation process.  I have a feeling that I’ll be revisiting this book again in the future when our kid(s) are a bit older.

A friend of mine recently said to me one of the things she found most fascinating about parenting was that her kids all turned out so unique.  They were different from her, different from her husband and different from each other (they have 4 children in the family).  I think that’s something T and I most look forward to about parenting as well – that we get to discover who these little people are and be part of their process of discovering themselves.  The prospect of that is absolutely fantastically exciting.

This past week has felt like an emphasis on basic humanity: sleeping and eating.  Each morning, I wake up because I’m hungry, so I eat.  And then I realize I’m still tired, so I sleep.  So goes the morning.

My afternoons have also been punctuated by food.  I suspect this is due to the limited internal real estate that I possess.  Since I still haven’t started really “showing,” (as in, family and friends can tell I’ve “thickened” but any passerby wouldn’t say I looked pregnant) baby’s growth is forcing the rest of my internal organs into smaller spaces than they’re used to, reducing their capacity.  The result is that my lunches and dinners have to be split into two small meals, meaning I have lunch #1 at noon, lunch #2 at 3pm, dinner #1 at 6pm and dinner #2 at 9pm.  That’s four square meals a day – plus breakfast.  Those who know me well know that I had to eat pretty frequently even before I was pregnant.  Well now it’s compounded!

Another effect of this internal squishing is that I get out of breath faster.  Activities that I never used to give a second thought to, like walking up stairs, going up a hill, or moving laundry from a washer to a dryer, leave me panting.  And it’s not that I’m not exercising!  It makes me feel kind of silly and feeble.

Thankfully, the real estate crisis is not so terrible yet as to encroach upon my brain.  I read a story of a pregnant woman who couldn’t find her keys and after hours of searching, found them neatly placed in her fridge.  I’ve mixed up some words here and there and found myself wondering what I was thinking about a second ago, but it hasn’t gotten to the point of putting my keys in the fridge!

Anyway, being “unplugged” for the week has been thoroughly refreshing.  I hadn’t realized how much time I spent in front of a computer or other electronic device until this week.  It has been fantastic catching up on reading, journalling and oh, did I mention sleeping?

Yesterday, we had our second visit to the OB (aka, baby doctor).  Everything is normal and the baby’s heart rate was 154.  It seems that he/she was more relaxed yesterday as the heart rate was lower than it had been before.  At least someone was chilling before the big Canuck’s game 7!  ;)

Anyway, I wanted to let you know that over this next month, T, baby and I will be away for our Sabbatical.  Since the main purpose of our trip is rest and renewal, we will not be online very much.  I will try to post weekly updates and keep you informed as much as possible.  But if the updates are slow, just know that we’re enjoying an “unplugged” lifestyle.

We had our first ultrasound this morning – what they call a “dating ultrasound”, to confirm the age of the baby.  And yes, there is only one baby in there!

I’m officially at 15 weeks and 1 day, which means my new due date is December 1st.  During our ultrasound, we could see the baby’s little heart beating away and we saw him/her wave his/her arms and kick his/her legs.  I can’t feel any of the movement yet, but it was so neat to see it all.

T was a little panicked because he had trouble finding parking and I was already in the examination room by the time he arrived at the clinic.  Thankfully, the technician had to do her thing first before allowing the both of us to see it.  So in the end, we both got to see the first glimpses of our baby.

I wrote a prayer this morning for all pregnant ladies going in for ultrasounds:
Lord, grant me a full enough bladder for this ultrasound,
And let me not pee my pants.
Amen.

Since making it public, our inboxes and T’s facebook page have been buzzing with activity.  The #1 response has been “Congratulations!”

I commented to a friend the other day that it felt a little puzzling to me to be congratulated for getting pregnant.  It felt somewhat akin to being congratulated for winning the lottery.  After all, I didn’t actually make the baby’s life begin – I only helped provide a suitable environment for it to happen.  And I don’t have any control over how well the baby grows either.  My friend responded by saying that I welcomed this new life, and that was worth congratulating me for.

I’ve been reflecting a bit on the irreversibility of it all.  I had prayed for this pregnancy, but now that it has happened, I sometimes feel alarmed about what I’ve really asked for!  It’s unlike any other decision I’ve made in life because carrying this baby has meant that I have had to change already and there’s no undoing it.  And this new person will impact me more than I can ever guess.   It’s sobering to realize that my life is forever changed by the answering of this one prayer.

Last weekend T and I watched the musical, “Wicked,” and this one song has been with us all week.  It’s called “For Good” and it speaks to many different relationships in our lives.  But as I think about the lyrics, there are certainly parts that express how I feel about this lemon-sized little life within me.  I hope you enjoy the song as much as we do:

This week, we’re going public!  By the end of this week, the world will know of CHANnel 3’s existence.  We’re excited about that.

Last night, I wore this t-shirt to our small group. 

After watching the Canuck’s game together, we took some group photos and T said, “Olive wants to show you her new t-shirt!”  Watching their faces as they realized we were going to have a baby was priceless!

As I looked around the room afterward, I was overwhelmed by the thought that our little person will enter the world already with so many people who love him/her.  We pray that this child will always know just how loved he/she is.  We are blessed, indeed.

Last week, we began telling individual friends about our exciting news.  On Saturday evening, I had a graduation dinner with my classmates and professors.  After I told them I was pregnant, my professor quietly commented to me that she suspected it when she saw me walk into the room.  I feel like all of a sudden over the past week, my belly has a pooch.  I’m very glad that by the end of this week, the news will be public and I won’t have to hide my growing belly anymore. 

I have to admit though, having been stick thin for most of my life, seeing my tummy protrude more and more is taking some adjustment.  It’s hard not to think I’m getting fat.  I do have a couple sources of comfort though:  T says he loves my belly; and ultimately, God is watching over how I grow – and God makes beautiful things.

In the last week, the reality that I am going to be a parent has slowly hit home on several occasions.  Last week, I had to sign some medical paperwork and as my doctor handed me the sheet and pointed to the dotted line, I was shocked to see the words, “Mother’s signature” next to the line.  I stared at it for a few seconds before signing my name.  I’m still in shock that I signed it! 

This morning, I met my OB (baby doctor) for the first time.  She used a handy little device called a Dopplar to locate our baby’s heartbeat.  T was there in the room with me when we heard the rapid fire “thump thump thump thump thump.”  It brought a huge smile to both our faces.

This afternoon, my mother-in-law took me maternity clothes shopping.  We discovered the hard way that all of the department stores at the mall no longer carry maternity clothes.  This is partly because most shirts these days are loose enough and long enough to be used as maternity clothes.  The unfortunate part is that they don’t carry pants or underwear suitable for growing bellies.  In the end, we went to the one and only “maternity” clothing store at the mall.  After picking out several items, I went to the dressing rooms to try them on.  As I tried one item, my mom-in-law would browse the store and come back with another item or two.  I felt like I tried on at least a quarter of the store!  Oh, and they had this pillow thing that I could attach to my torso to simulate what I might look like four months from now.  I put it on under several outfits.  We giggled every time I came out of the dressing room with the insta-belly.  In the end, I got a couple dresses (perfect for summer!), a pair of capri pants and a top – all as a gift from my in-laws.  (Thanks, Mom and Dad!)  I am super-excited about wearing these clothes, not only because they’re incredibly comfortable, they also let people know that I’m pregnant.  =D

T has quickly discovered that one of the quirks of having a pregnant wife is that I will be absolutely crazy about a certain food one day and completely abhor it the next (and by next, I mean day – or hour – or minute).  So he gave me a piece of sound advice to keep in mind every time I go out for groceries:  Don’t buy anything in bulk!  Let me tell you, I have been terribly tempted at times to buy lots of whatever it is I’m craving at the moment.  But I’ve learned to listen to the voice of reason – and these days it sounds very much like the voice of my husband.  And I’m super glad.  Because otherwise, I’d probably be stuck with lots of Triscuits, cucumbers, hummus, cranberry juice, goat mozzarella and other things I don’t even remember liking anymore.  And I’d have a fridge full of half-eaten meals.  Oh wait, our fridge IS full of half-eaten meals. 

On another note, I realized I often gag when I brush my teeth these days.  I’m wondering if it’s the minty toothpaste.  So I’m trying kids “fruit flavoured” toothpaste for now.  It tastes more like bubble gum but I figure if it’ll help me actually get a decent teeth-brushing instead of a race-against-the-gag kind of teeth-brushing, it’ll be worth it.  And if the taste doesn’t help, maybe all the Toy Story characters on the toothpaste tube will distract me enough.  ;)

The Lord’s Supper.  The Lord’s Table.  The Holy Meal.  The Eucharist.  Communion.  These all refer to the same sacrament that has marked Christ-followers through the ages.

I grew up knowing that it was a sacred practice but not really thinking of it as anything more than crackers and juice that we would have every first Sunday of the month to “remember the death of Jesus.”  When I moved to Vancouver, I started attending a service that celebrated it weekly.  I’m not sure if it was the frequent repetition of the act or something the Holy Spirit was working in me (probably both), but in the last half a year, I’ve noticed that this practice of partaking the bread and the wine (in my case, juice) began to take on deeper meaning for me.

This past Sunday, as I came up to the communion server and tore off a piece of bread, I was embarrassed that the bread came off in a big chunk.  I was left holding a lot more than what I usually would take.  As I knelt to receive the bread dipped in juice, I told God as much.  I felt Him respond to me, “I wanted you to have a bigger piece today.  It is a symbol of the extra portion of grace I want to give you.  You will need a large measure of grace in this coming week.”  In that mysterious moment, He nourished me and promised me sustenance for the week ahead that I already know will not be an easy one.