Tim and Olive's Blog

Flipping through some old journals last night, I came across this entry. It was written at a height of my struggle with singleness but in re-reading it, I think the truths embedded are applicable to other times of “darkness” as well. It came as a response to the above passage. I pray this will encourage you.

I picture myself in a cave. My eyes are open yet I see nothing. It’s pitch dark. I hear a voice though. A gentle, inviting voice; confident and firm. A familiar voice. Recognition of the voice makes my heart leap and a smile break across my face. No one can see it, of course, because it’s so dark. I turn and face the voice. “Reach out and hold my hand,” He says. Where is your hand? I wonder. I stretch out my hand and instantly, it is wrapped in warmth. How wonderful! I am not alone in here! What’s more, the One who holds my hand knows the way out – afterall, He did make this place.

I’m tempted to ask Him for some light so that I can make sure I don’t slip. But I realize, it’s dark for a reason. He does not want me to see what’s in here. He wants to know I trust Him. Though I can’t see myself, I know He can see me. He’s promised not to let my foot slip. So we walk.

At times, it feels like we’re going up. At times, it feels like we’re going down. There are no clues about where I am or how much longer this journey will be. Once in a while, when the terrain gets too rough, He scoops me up and carries me.

There are other voices in the cave with us. Voices that taunt me, voices that scare me.
“Why can’t you just get your own light and navigate your own way?”
“He’s taking you the long route, you know.”
“You’re so pathetic.”
“He doesn’t really care for you.”
“How are you so sure he’s leading you out of here?”
“You are such a fool.”
“You’ll never make it. You’re gonna die in here.”
I have no clue how these other voices know who I am but sometimes, what they say starts getting to me. He knows this. So when those times come, He gently squeezes my hand to remind me Who I’m walking with. Sometimes, instead of squeezing my hand, He’ll start singing. And pretty soon, His rich melodious voice drowns out (and silences?) all those other voices.

He does not tell me where we are going. Only that it will be good. As we walk, I imagine it to be like a meadow. Wide open sky, wild flowers all around, birds singing as they flit from tree to tree. And grass. Soft, lush, green grass…

“Pay attention now,” He says. I snap out of my reverie. He’s taking this opportunity to teach me things as we walk. Things about Himself, things about this world, thing about me and the rest of humanity. As I listen, I realize I still have much growing up to do. I guess I’m ok with that.

One day, we enter a place where there is light! It’s not as bright as I had imagined. “The full sunshine is still up ahead,” He tells me. He knows what I’m thinking. Even so, I’m delighted. He’s brought me through the darkness!

I look around and see a friend. I’m not sure if I’ve really met him before, but I know he’s my friend. He sees me, too. He walks over to me with a big grin. “Where have you been?” he asks. He’s been waiting for me. I explain. I tell him about the cave and the One who lead me through it, the awful voices and the lessons I learned. “Hey, I’ve been there too!” my friend chimes in. Excited, we share our stories.

Suddenly, we realize Someone is watching us. Full of joy, we turn to Him. Can we walk the rest of the way together? Yes, of course, He replies. That’s why I brought you here.

The Word for today in Streams in the Desert is from Deuteronomy 11:10-12:

For the land, into which you are entering to possess it, is not like the land of Egypt from which you came, where you used to sow your seed and water it with your foot like a vegetable garden. But the land into which you are about to cross to possess it, a land of hills and valleys, drinks water from the rain of heaven, a land for which the LORD your God cares; the eyes of the LORD your God are always on it, from the beginning even to the end of the year.[NASB]

This first day of the new year, we stand on the threshold to another 365 days that lie ahead of us. To me, this passage speaks truth about my life. The land I came from was a land of self-effort. It was a small land, a garden patch. The land I am about to possess is a land of hills and valleys – a vast expanse of discovery, joys and sorrows. It is a land that is cared for by the LORD Himself. I look forward in anticipation to possessing this land that offers me a fullness and richness that I could not come about by my own work.

I read this verse to my mom tonight and she asked the question, “Are you ready?” Ready for what? I wondered. “A lot of people aren’t ready for hills and valleys.” I don’t feel unready. I am confident because I know God will only lead me there when I’m ready and that when that time comes, He will go with me.

Bring on 2008!

In the last 365 days, here is where the good Lord has brought me (in order):

• Toronto

• Vancouver

• Panama

• Vancouver

• Toronto

• Vancouver

• Colorado

• Vancouver

• Whistler

• Vancouver

• Toronto

• East Asia

• Toronto

• East Asia

• Toronto.

A lot of people travel more than this, I know. I suppose travelling needs to be differentiated from moving though. For me, I’ve moved at least four times in the midst of all the travelling. For a creature who is a homebody by nature, this is an amount of packing, unpacking and moving that borders on being classified as extreme!

Still, I’m deeply grateful for this year. I’m grateful for the opportunity to have been in all these places, for all the people I’ve met and all the lessons I’ve learned. I’m grateful for my parents who’ve allowed me to journey away and keep welcoming me back, even when I come back worse for the wear. And I’m very grateful for Tim, who’s persisted in courting me through all these changes of distance, time zones and my moods that fluctuate faster than either of us can keep track of.

At the end of this year, my heart is full of praise because I know God that much more intimately. And Jesus is my heart’s treasure more than ever.

I’m tired, yes. But His grace is allowing me to rest now. And by His grace, it’s going to be a

How is it that the grandeur and splendour of a natural wonder like Niagara Falls has attracted such an odd assortment of businesses? It is sad to see that so many “attractions” that have sprung up in the downtown part of Niagara Falls are really distractions from life: Ripley’s believe-it-or-not, wax museums, haunted houses, tatoo parlours and more recently, the much celebrated casinos. It’s like all the weirdest stuff, the out-of-ordinary, the ghoulish and fantasy have all collected right beside one of God’s amazing creations. It’s just bizarre. On one hand, you have the magnificence of what God has to offer. And on the other, you have the pitiful emptiness of what humans have to offer. The clincher is this: the experience God offers is free, while the other option will cost you your wallet (and maybe more).

WORD OF THE DAY: FRANGIBLE

(from dictionary.com)

frangible \FRAN-juh-buhl\, adjective:
Capable of being broken; brittle; fragile; easily broken.

me.

ALL THINGS NOT EQUAL

I bought a bunch of bamboo a couple months back. Since they were too long, I cut off some inches from the bottom before I stuck them in a vase of water. They have now happily grown a healthy entanglement of roots.

The short bits that I cut off, I stuck in their own little glass container with some pretty white pebbles to keep them standing straight. I’d seen a friend do this before and hers started to grow leaves. I figured I might as well give it a try too. I put my little “garden” next to the sink in my bathroom. I like how it greens things up.

Anyway, they have started to grow leaves. What intrigues me though is that some of them have leaves about 3 inches long, while others are only just starting to show a little nub. In observing their growth, I’ve realized that God’s creativity extends to the timing of things. I mean, He could easily make them all grow at the same rate – and the human perfectionist in me would be more satisfied if that were the case – but He doesn’t.

In the same way, I think He allows people to grow at different rates as well. Too often, we are tempted to compare ourselves with others (imagine one bamboo comparing itself with another one!) and we might even complain that God’s not being fair, but reality is that His love and grace is just as plentiful for each of us and that He is glorified in the variety and differences.

WHO DOES GOD TRUST?

At a retreat this past weekend, in one of the prayers, the person thanked God for trusting Himself to the care of a teenage girl when He came to earth. That’s a pretty incredible thought. That God would trust humanity to take care of Him. That the Creator would trust Himself to the created. Then it dawned on me that God not only trusted Mary, He trusted many other people in the Bible. He also trusted many others throughout history. He trusts each of us who know Him. And most incredibly (to me anyway), He trusts me.

This is something I’ll need to think more about – that God’s character is trusting.

REMARKABLE!

Yesterday, a friend and I had lunch on the 12th floor of a hotel by the beach. Looking out over the rhythmic waves as they washed up along the shore, we prayed for each other. She thanked God for His love and that His thoughts about me outnumbered the grains of sand. After we finished praying, we both looked at each other and wondered, “What could God possibly be thinking about us that He would have THAT many thoughts about each one of us?!”

Could it really be that Someone out there loves me THAT much?

MIRACLE

I think I’m finally starting to believe that I really am loved.

BROKEN

Today,
The water isn’t running,
Our apartment smells like sewage,
The internet is temperamental,
I was fortunate to have a seat on the bus one-way,
It’s taken me almost 2 hours to make a simple soup,
And all I want to do since I woke up is go back to sleep.

This soldier is broken.