Tim and Olive's Blog

11:11am – the middle of drawing class. a minute of silence to remember.

remembering those who gave their lives for our freedom.

remembering the One who gave His life for my Freedom.

FOLLOWING THE HUMBLE KING

Oh kneel me down again here at Your feet,
Show me how much You love humility,
Oh spirit be the star that leads me to
The humble heart of love I see in You;

‘Cause You are the God of the broken,
Friend of the weak,
You wash the feet of the weary,
embrace the ones in need,
I want to be like You, Jesus,
To have this heart in me;
You are the God of the humble,
You are the Humble King.

the past two days have been wave after wave of God showing me the brokenness of our human condition. last night, at the International Christian Centre, our fellowship went to serve food to the people at the soup kitchen. there were more people there than usual and a number of us had some very meaningful conversations with the people there. usually, we leave at about 9:30 or 10:00 but last night, we stayed until at least 10:30, if not later. by the end of the night it was such a lesson in putting myself aside simply because i was so tired and hungry. but while we were waiting for the last few conversations and prayers to finish, we sang some songs. Humble King was one of them. i’d never sang that song with so much heart and understanding before. it wasn’t until i was weak, tired and hungry that i saw how Jesus came to serve me and all those around me who were weaker, more tired and hungrier than i.

then, in class today, my friend mentioned that she would have been a mom by now had it not been for a miscarriage. and she probably wouldn’t be in my classes had that not happened. i don’t know how to put my thoughts and feelings into words other than that my heart weeps for her.

my third lesson in brokenness came a little later today. another friend of mine is struggling with something and i was asked to help. i felt completely inadequate to help (and still feel that way). the best i can offer are my ears and Jesus Christ.

Lord, teach me how to love.

FOREVER AND ALWAYS

God is good. just when i start losing sight of my value in His eyes, He sends me two conversations in a day to reaffirm His view of me. i really don’t deserve to be treated so well. ;>

He knows my name,
He knows my every thought,
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when I call.

soup kitchen run tomorrow… we’ll see what this visit brings. :>

OBSERVATION

something i noticed lately in my converstions with friends: my friends are more concerned about my health and wellbeing than i am. just a thought. :>

FIRST SNOWFALL

friendships are the most interesting things. how is it that two people can share a connection such that any action that either of them makes will affect both of them? how is it that the mere presence of a good friend can still anxieties and calm fears? maybe because each of us is afraid of loneliness that we appreciate company when we have it and seek it out when we don’t.

yesterday was one of the toughest days i’ve gone through in a very long time. emotionally raw and exhausted both physically and mentally, my day ran from 7am-2am non-stop. i’d slept over at my best friend’s place on thursday so i had to ttc it back to school, get ready for class, make it through 4 hours of costuming, ttc it from York to Scarbough, go through rehearsal, lead worship for Mike Clemon’s speaking event and go out for food with the rest of the worship team. but somehow, through it all, i know that God still used me to touch people – despite my being in shambles. i know that i was not alone because i had people praying for me. and i know that even when things don’t make sense, they will.

CRYSTALLINE LENS

i’m currently working on a paper about the eye and how it sees. and i like the term crystalline lens. it just sounds cool. :>

anyway, i don’t have much to write about today other than a brief comment on how it’s so easy to procrastinate your time away… :p and how much easier it is to procrastinate when you have internet access. yep, that’s how life’s going right now.

…trying to claim the victory of the Cross for my life.

DIVINE APPOINTMENTS

i had a most interesting day yesterday. first, i got to have lunch with a new friend who’s looking for God. we had an awesome conversation about God and various aspects of who He is. then, on my way down to the Toronto Reference Library, i bumped into a girl who was in my program in first year but hadn’t come back. i hadn’t seen her since then so it was a huge surprise for me to bump into her again. the coolest thing was that when she saw me, she told me that she’d just been thinking about me the other day. needless to say, we exchanged numbers and hopefully, we can keep in touch. finally, last night, just as i was drifting off to dreamland, i got a phone call from another friend who needed my help. during that conversation, part of me wanted to hang up because i was so tired. but i knew that i was just being selfish. so yeah, God’s been teaching me that whatever circumstances He brings to me, i am to serve Him there.

another neat anecdote i meant to post on wednesday… our ccf’s been meeting in a classroom every week. the only thing is, we hadn’t actually booked it through the school. so technically, we could have been kicked out. anyway, this week, i thought that i’d live up to my responsibilities and actually book the room for the rest of the semester. so i handed in the form on monday, figuring that with 7 business days of processing, we should be cleared for the room by next week’s meeting. wednesday morning, i received a call from the lady at the office. she informed me that we couldn’t get the room we requested, but they were giving us another room that would hold the same number of people. i thanked her but in the back of my head, i was unhappy. the room we’d been meeting in was good! why couldn’t we have it? and then, God convicted me: don’t you trust me that i’ll give you the best? you haven’t even seen the new room yet, why are you complaining? i had to admit, He caught me. when i went to check out the new room, i realized that i was better for our purposes. *sigh*

VERSE OF THE DAY

i subscribe to this verse of the day thing and today’s was quite good. so i thought i’d post it here as a piece of encouragement:

THOUGHT:
I feel so burdened myself, that sometimes I can’t even see

others burdens. But Jesus reminds me that if I am to be like him,

I will be a burden carrier. This is why he came, why he died, and

why his resurrection is so important — to lift from us the burdens

of sin, death, and depravity. He has blessed us by carrying our

heaviest burdens so that we might lighten the load of those around

us.

PRAYER:
Compassionate Father, help me to see the burdens in the lives of

others around me and then respond to those burdens with help. I

want to be a blessing to the broken and discouraged, so please help

me find my place and my way of serving to your glory. In Jesus’

name. Amen.

THOUGHT

conquering the self is the most difficult thing.

it’s a battle no one knows but me.
no one sees it.
no one hears it.
no one can grapple with it but myself.
and no one can help me win or lose.
it’s an internal struggle for faith.
and the more i fight, the more i see my weakness.

it’s a cry for grace.

but underneath it all, there is joy.
i know i can never fall beyond His reach.
or fail beyond His forgiveness.

CHALLENGES

it’s been a while since i’ve updated anything here… school’s insanely busy despite the fact that i don’t have midterms. i dunno how that works but each day is packed chock-full of ongoing assignments. and i think the weather’s gettin to me ‘cuz i have an overwhelming urge to sleep pretty much every moment i’m awake – not very conducive to accomplishing anything. anyway, i wanted to post a little update on what God’s been teaching me this past week.

recently, God’s been intensifying my burden to reach my friends at school; particularly my three suitemates and seven classmates (yes, i only have an 8 person class). i have been trying to get an investigative bible study going but to no avail since no one has shown up for the past two weeks. after much thought, i’ve boiled it all down to two areas of challenge.

firstly, i have much fear. i know in my head how to invite my friends to come to the bible studies and i’ve had ample opportunities to do so, but my mouth feels glued shut. the culprit: fear. it’s even more frustrating when i know it’s fear and know i have nothing to fear, yet i still am immobilized by it. i have a huge passion to see them discover Christ, but it seems like even that is not enough to open my mouth. i told my church counsellor about it last night and she encouraged me by telling me to keep trying. the time will come, she said. that’s what i pray.

secondly, i have forgotten the basics of prayer. God gave me a wake-up call through my devotional material the other day when the writer pointed out that Jesus is the Lord of the harvest. it’s up to Him when things will happen. we need to have faith and keep praying in the face of apparent lack of movement on God’s part.