Tim and Olive's Blog

second post in a day! (can u tell i’m bored?)

project of the moment: make a representation of a sunrise without using light. it’s my first assignment of the year. ironically, it’s for my lighting design class. ideas are very slow in coming. suggestions?

BABY STEPS

took my very first singing lesson this morning. man, i never knew i was so weak! or should i say, i never knew one had to be so strong to sing well! in any case, i have a lot of physical conditioning to do. my breath is short, my circulation is poor (which i always knew, i just didn’t think it would affect singing that much) and i have no control over how much air i let out when i’m singing. blech. it’s gonna be hard work, but i know i can’t let myself stay at this skill level when i know there’s such a long way of improvement in front of me. excellence for Christ, no?

SILENCE

sometimes, God takes us to a place where it seems like everything is dark and we feel all lost and lonely. and then, contrary to what we expect him to do, he remains silent. the only thing we have to hold on to is the hope and assurance that in spite of everything, we have the promise of grace forever. the promise that he knows what he is doing.

this week has been one of those times for me. there’s been a deep aching and emptiness in my heart that has washed over me in waves. true, there have been moments of happiness, but the prevailing emotion has been quite sombre. i do not know how to explain it, or what to attribute this pit to, but it’s as if God has brought me here to deal with the bare essentials – namely, Him and me. in my weakness, i am forced to face the power and jealousy of God. He desires to be my strength, and my only strength. the challenge here is to die to myself.

will i dare to live with just Jesus?

being refined by God is painful. but i pray that i will endure like Christ, for the joy set before me.

KICKOFF

first CCF meeting of the year. it was awesome seeing new faces and really nice seeing all the familiar faces. the scavenger hunt went swimmingly but i think the dinner was the best part. getting to chat and connect with the new people was the highlight of my night (and possibly my week!). i think that even though my role as chairperson is to be there for the people, i was the one who needed the fellowship the most tonight. i am so undeserving of this love. :)

AWESOME

i’m entirely wiped but i gotta put this update in before i burst. :> i just checked my email before shutting off my computer and i got this email from a girl i met at Teens Conference this past march. she was on the team i counselled and i had a joy of seeing her brought to Christ back then. since that week, i’d seen her a couple times and once in a while, i’d pray for her and wonder how she was doing in her walk with God. anyway, she emailed me today to tell me the awesome things God’s been doing in her life and how she’s trying to reach her high school for Christ now. wow. i’m soooooooo tired right now but i just can’t stop smiling. :>

God, you are so good to me. who am i that You would choose to use me to reach this soul? who am i that You would show me Your faithfulness in continuing Your work despite the fact that i have failed to keep praying for her like i said i would? i stand in silent awe of You.

GOD

a beautiful thing about God is that without fail, He works the most when we are at our weakest. our worship team this morning was put together last sunday. i’d previously worked with two out of the three members and the third member was new to our church. during rehearsal on friday, things sounded not quite together. and this morning, when we started practicing, we were totally not together. each person was doing his/her own thing. as the leader, i didn’t know how i would be in a worshipful spirit, let alone engage the congregation in worship. after lifting everything up in prayer and confessing to God that He alone had to lead our worship, i still felt a bit uneasy. but God fully answered by allowing His presence to be felt during our service. one more item to add to God’s faithfulness list. :>

now to see how He will show Himself at York this year…

IF I WERE AN ANIMAL…

while describing myself to one of my new suitemates, i realized that my description could very well fit that of a tropical fruit bat:

a) i love warm places. my ideal temperature range is 28-32 degrees celsius.
b) i love fruit. i could eat it all day. :p
c) i’m pretty much blind. my prescription is so high, it’s embarassing.

so there u have it. three major similarities between myself an a tropical fruit bat. the only thing is, i don’t like hanging upside down. ;p

anyway, it’s been a pretty down week for me. being in a new res, not knowing anyone, and not being a heavy party-goer, it’s been quite lonely. spiritually, it’s thrown me off a little. i guess i’ve been struggling against self-pity to look beyond myself and find the heart to care for the few strangers around me. it also feels as if i’m in a place where God is silent, but i still know He’s there. i am more aware of my weakness than ever, but i’m also more aware of being held and surrounded by the prayers of all my saint-friends. this is a new place for me.

boring is definitely not a word to be used in this walk with Jesus.

FROSH – TAKE 2

*sigh* i never thought moving residences would feel so weird. i didn’t realize how many friends i made in two years. anyway, i’m settled in now and i finally got my internet working in my room so i can finally update this page. it’s taking me much longer than i want to, though, ‘cuz Flo93 is here on campus playing something in the courtyard and the bass beats are incessant! ahhh, frosh week…

…boom boom boom… boom boom boom… arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anywho, i went to visit my uncle’s grave today. it’s been almost two years since he died. standing under the blue sky, embraced by sunshine, listening to the windchimes, i felt this serene peace as i watered the flowers at his headstone. i realized today that with all my friends who know Christ, even if i never see them again in this life, i still have eternity to spend with them. like, wow. because of Christ, not only are we restored back to God (!), we have forever to enjoy each other’s company.

that’s my encouraging thought for the day. :>

keep praying for my witness on campus. this is a crooked and depraved generation, indeed.

…signing off to the tunes of “I will survive”… yes, i will survive!

UNFATHOMABLE

eternity and a day would not be enough time for me to understand God’s love. that a self-sufficient God – one who did not need anything outside of himself – would create, release and redeem a bunch of creatures who were destructive, rebellious, and faithless. and to go to all these lengths so that these creatures could spend the rest of time with Him! it is only by the sweet grace of God that we are loved.

[note: correction to yesterday’s post – Paul did not write the book of Hebrews. it was not written in his style. scholars suggest it was either written by Barnabas or Apollos.]

HEBREWS 11

the faith hall of fame. on the car ride home from St. Jacobs today, i had this urge to flip open to Hebrews. i intended to read chapter 10, but i ended up reading till chapter 12. one thought caught me in particular. after listing all the heros of the ages, paul writes,

God didn’t give these people what they were promised! yet they still had faith. moreover, God didn’t give these people what they were promised because He was waiting for us???!!! it’s like, we’re in this race where everyone who finishes gets a prize. but no one gets a prize until everyone finishes. so the people who finish early stand by the sidelines and cheer the rest of the runners on. and when the last person crosses the line, the party lasts forever. glorious. just glorious. no wonder the author goes on to write,