Thoughts about faith, hope, and the rest of life
[Defining Decisions is a series of blog posts on the 20 life-shaping decisions I made in my 20s.]
Depression has been a familiar and mostly unwelcome companion through my 20s. I have had six unannounced visits over the past ten years, each visit lasting between one and six months. This companion has felt more like an intruder than a guest, and I am always glad when Depression leaves me.
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The first thing I said to Tim this morning was “I’m done waiting. I’m going to go about my day however I want and this baby can come whenever.” It’s not entirely true, of course, because as long as this belly is about to burst, I’ll still be waiting. But I certainly do not want to live today in the same fevered pitch of anticipation that we lived in yesterday. You see, yesterday, we were so excited and hopeful that we had packed all our bags (PJs and all), only to make it to the end of the day completely exhausted and have to unpack some things to settle in for the night. The upside, I suppose, was that we both had really good sleeps.
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Today has been a day of waiting. Tim says it feels like we’re at the top of a roller coaster, right before the drop; holding our breaths in suspense.
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Olive and I were thinking that it would be very meaningful, in our 30th years of life, to write a book together outlining the major choices we’ve made in our 20s and how it has shaped our lives. Now nearing the end of my 30th year I realize the goal of writing a book was a bit too much, so we’ve decided to write some blog posts instead. Olive has started writing about her choices in her blog series “Finding my Voice: A look back at the Defining Decisions of my Twenties“.
Here are my top 20 Life-shaping choices I made in my 20s. In November I took a poll from our readers to see which choices they would like to read about the most. The idea is for me to start writing about the ones people are most interested in. Here are the results, and the links to the decisions I’ve written about so far. I will be continuing to write this series through this year.
1. Embrace my Depression [realizing the gifts that depression brings] – 26 votes (Part 1 and Part 2)
2. Learn My Boss’ Job [how to spend my time at work]
3. Decide the one things I will die for [how to find passion in life] – 17 votes
4. See a Counselor to discuss depression, pornography and other things – 13 votes
5. Take responsibility of my spiritual growth [stop relying on my church for my growth] – 13 votes
6. Create a 5-year plan for my life – 13 votes
7. Go into marriage trusting God more than trusting Olive or myself – 13 votes
8. Find my calling in life [taking Sabbaticals to find my purpose in life] – 12 votes
9. Ask myself the right question [from “what should I do?’ to “who should I become?” to “who am I?”] – 12 votes
10. Spend time with people who are going somewhere in life – 12 votes
11. Learn to tell good stories and ask good questions – 12 votes
12. Define my goal for dating: Dating for clarity vs Dating for marriage – 10 votes
13. Decide my family will be my friends – 10 votes
14. Use words to give others courage [what I learned from Ken Shigematsu] – 9 votes
15. Think Bigger [what I learned from working with Leonard Buhler] – 9 votes
16. Incorporate Rest and Solitude into my life – 9 votes
17. Listen and understand before making suggestions – 7 votes
18. Find mentors, friends, and people to mentor – 7 votes
19. Live with margin in my life – 7 votes
20. Look for Convergence in my life [living an integrated life] – 6 votes
What defining decisions did you make in your 20s?
[Finding My Voice is a series of blog posts on key decisions I made in my 20s.]
Defining decision: as much as possible, choose love over fear
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“Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction.” – John C. Crosby
Whether you are just starting out in your career or have accumulated decades of experience, mentoring has its benefits. For a young leader, there is the potential for personal and professional growth, the opportunity to widen your network and to gain more confidence. It’s also a cost effective way to learn from someone who has more experience. For a mentor, there is the opportunity to share the things they’ve learned through their years of experience, and to make a positive impact on someone’s life.
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Recently I read Blake Mycoskie’s book, “Start Something that Matters”. Blake is the founder and “Chief Shoe Giver” of TOMS. It outlines the inspiring story of TOMS, a social enterprise that has given over 1 million new pairs of shoes to children in need.
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