Tim and Olive's Blog

growing up, whenever i heard that song by lionel richie, i would secretly wish that someday, i’d be at a dance and out of the blue, my special guy would dedicate that song to me. i still think it’s a sweet idea, but i think it would make me sad more than anything ‘cuz i’m no longer a ballerina girl. that, and the notion of me being at a dance with a special guy seems very far off at the moment… but that’s not what i wanted to write about today. :P

i got a call from an auntie this evening, asking me whether i’d be able to dance for her music group’s outreach concert at the end of the month. it’s a chinese christian group and they do a lot of music ministry. unfortunately, i haven’t danced in three years, and three weeks would not be enough time for me to prepare something (especially since it’s a chinese song!). so i had to tell her no for this time.

deep inside, i miss dancing a lot. sometimes, i wonder how different i would be now if i had majored in dance rather than visual art when i was in high school. but i feel like i’m still waiting to return to dance. although, i’m not sure if i’d go back to ballet.

one of my dreams is to take some modern classes, learn sign language and combine them in worship. i know people have done this already. some call it body worship or interpretive dance. it’s sort of ironic that i’m currently preparing one for this saturday. but i want to be able to express the songs with a solid knowledge of what movements i’m using. i want it to be an educated piece of art so that i’m really giving my best to God. it saddens me that dance is not incorporated into our worship more and that so few people are encouraged to learn it.

i’m biased though. i’m a kinetic worshipper; my heart worships most fully when my body reflects my emotions.

POWERFUL WORDS

we looked at the story of Jonah in sunday school today. i haven’t read it in a very long time so it was refreshing to read it again. one verse in particular jumped out at me. i think it’s self explanatory, so i’ll just post it for you to chew on…

ouch.

some other words to chew on that i just came across…

TEE HEE

while rummaging through old papers in search of an address, i came across what could be my all-time favourite short story. i got it from my grade ten english teacher, who read it to us as a break from regular stuff. she was a little off the wall. but so am i. so here, i present to you, the African tale called

One day, a farmer was in his field, getting ready to pull some sweet potatoes out of the ground in order to sell them at the market, when one of the sweet potatoes said, “Fine, now you want to pull me up and sell me, but all the time I’ve been growing, you’ve hardly given me any water.”

After the farmer left, the King pulled up his favourite chair. As he did, the chair laughed and said to the King, “Can you believe that farmer? Who ever heard of a talking sweet potato?”

LAUGHING GAS

i spent the past two nights bumming at my best friend’s house (thanks again, ruth!!!) and i gained a wonderful insight from her that i wanted to post the minute she said it, but alas, i had to wait until now… but all’s not lost, ‘cuz i’m here now, aren’t i? ;)

anyway, we were talking about how sometimes God asks us to do things that don’t make sense to us in our current circumstances but He asks us to obey nonetheless. then, she shared this illustration with me (now, i know in my last posting, Henry Cloud uses a similar analogy but the application this time is different)…

sometimes, in life, God does things that don’t make sense to us as an anesthetic for surgery. if we weren’t knocked out, we might want to pick up a scalpel and “help” God with the operation, thus interfering with His work. or, we might try to direct Him or even prevent Him from doing what is neccessary. God, in His infinite wisdom, “puts us out” sometimes so that He can accomplish His purpose. so even in the midst of being asleep, we have the hope that our Master Physician is freely at work and that when we wake up, we will see what a good job He did.

this entry is dedicated to a dear friend whose understanding and support is invaluable especially at this time. thanks, you. :>

REDEMPTIVE TIME

Imagine, for a moment, the situation. God had created a perfect place with perfect creatures to live in eternity. And, suddenly, evil arrived on the scene. What did God do?
…
God moved immediately to protect humankind from being in a state of eternal isolation, experiencing pain for a very long time. To protect Adam and Eve from eternal pain, he drove them out of eternity, guarded eternity with a cherubim, and sent them to a new place called redemptive time, where we live now. Here God could fix the problem; he could undo the effects of the fall. He could redeem his creation, and then bring humanity back into eternity after it was again holy and blameless.
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Think of it another way. God has a sick creation. He needs to do surgery. Thus, he places us in the operating room of redemptive time. Into our veins he pumps the life-giving blood of grace and truth. During surgery, he excises evil and brings the renewed patient back into eternity in a holy state. We don’t know how long this surgery will last. We only know that we are expected to participate actively in our own surgery, and we don’t get any anesthesia for the procedure. That’s why growing up into the image of God often hurts so much.(emphasis mine)

~Dr. Henry Cloud, Changes That Heal

CONTROL FREAKS

it seems to me as if a recurring problem everyone faces in life is letting go. whether you are young or old, there’s always something God is challenging you to release into His grip. case in point: my family. i have my struggles, my dad has his and my mom, hers. this morning, my mom sent me a poem about this subject (‘cuz she knows what i’m going through :> ). her comment on it was that if she could achieve half of the things mentioned in it, things would be so much better. i can only agree…

LEANING ON THE EVERLASTING ARMS

of all the church retreats i’ve been to, this one has probably been one of the most ordinary. no huge revelations. no emotional high. no accidents. no lost voice. no cryfest. no soap operas (a sign of maturity for our group, i hope?). not even a waterfight. i know i went to meet God – to get away from the noise of everyday busyness and hear Him. i went with one particular issue weighing heavy on my heart. and proving His faithfulness again, He spoke. but it wasn’t anything extraordinary. it wasn’t even during the worship or sermons. He just affirmed my next step to take in Him during my devos. i think grounded is the best word to describe the weekend.

of all the times i’ve had to lead worship, this weekend was probably one i felt least prepared for. it wasn’t that our team didn’t have rehearsals or that we didn’t pray enough. but in the week leading up to retreat, God broke each of us down in our own way. the only prayer i could pray while leading each session was Lord, lead your people. let them encounter you in this time. let me encounter you ‘cuz i’m struggling. i felt like i’d fade in and out of a worshipful heart – i was so easily distracted. i hated that feeling. i felt almost hypocritical. but quitting was not an option. so i just kept praying that God would work despite my shame and my weakness. i don’t know if anyone enjoyed the worship times or if hearts were engaged, but i guess all i can do is trust in God’s promise of grace and stop worrying.

back in april, when my summer was just starting, i knew this summer would be a lesson in faith. but i never knew just how far God would be stretching me. from jobs, to getting back into residence, to the ROM, to John 4:24, to facing my failures, to entrusting Him with my friends and family, it’s been a crazy ride so far. but i’m soooooooo grateful for these lessons. and to think that i still have a lifetime to learn with Jesus… :>

OFF I GO…

to retreat this weekend. goin to listen to God. :>

ROMANS 8:32

the following is an excerpt from Future Graceby John Piper. may it fill your heart with hope, as it has filled mine. :>

God desired two things: not to see his Son made a mockery by sinners; and not to see his people denied infinite future grace. Surely it is more likely that he will spare his Son than that he will spare us. But no. He did not spare his Son. And therefore it is impossible that he should spare us the promise for which the Son died – he will freely with him give us all things.
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The great promise of future grace, guaranteed in the logic of Romans 8:32, is that nothing will ever enter your experience as God’s child that, by God’s sovereign grace, will not turn out to be a benefit to you. This is what it means for God to be God, and for God to be for you, and for God to freely give you all things with Christ.

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PERFECT PEACE

mountaintop is now over. the time has come to descend again back to the everyday life without God’s overwhelmingly glaring presence. not that He’s left. but it’s a quieter, more subtle presence.

physically, i feel so gross today. not sick. just little irritations here and there. my mom says it’s ‘cuz i’ve been sleeping late. hopefully, she’s right. i also have a mystery bug bite on my arm that’s insanely itchy (but i refuse to touch it ‘cuz it looks freaky enough as it stands).

spiritually, i’m facing a battle against myself. through a conversation with a friend last night, God has challenged me to review my relationships with certain people. am i willing to give up perfectly good friendships so that i can give 100% of my heart to serve my jealous God? will i trust Him enough to let go of the good to gain the best? will i trust Him to take care of the other person when i distance myself? i am so tired of the debate raging inside of me. so tired of all the things i have yet to do.

oh God, give me grace, that i can trust You. lead me by the hand, that i can follow You.